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The Power of Keeping Our Memories

Posted on: September 27, 2026 | Posted by: Grace Villafuerte

I recently watched the movie, “Forgotten Island!” I have been waiting all year to watch this!!! Forgotten Island is a Dreamworks animated movie set in the Philippines about two friends who travel to a mystical island, and encounter our culture’s mythological creatures – many of whom I have been told stories about since I was a kid. I loved seeing my culture and our mythology represented, and how the movie spoke to the depth of relationships, memories, and choices.

Without giving too much away (hopefully), one of my many takeaways from this film was the belief “Our memories make us who we are.” 
There is an emphasis that we don’t ever lose our loved ones if we continue to remember them and our experiences with them.
For the entire first year after Lynn passed, I was VERY focused and intentional in working on evolving our relationship. I desperately worked on maintaining our connection and communication, and allowing it to look different, now that she was “on the other side.” I needed to keep remembering her, our life, and our experiences, especially those first few years, as if I was making sure they were burned in my memory and would never fade away. I am glad I did that; it gave me some reassurance that I had “proof” that our life HAD happened, and it carved a well worn neuropathway in my brain to remember her and our life on a regular basis. That has helped in not feeling like I completely lost her. “At its core, the movie is about the fragile nature of memory and the fear of growing apart. Many first-generation immigrants straddle that line of balancing memories from a past life in another country with building new memories in America.” TAAF blog I relate this quote to what my and Lynn’s relationship feels like… I have always thought that our relationship never stopped, she just moved to a different place and we just evolved to a long distance (and open!) relationship. And my life is pre-Lynn passing and post-Lynn passing, and, like the quote says, learning as a widow to straddle that line of balancing memories from a past life, while building memories in a new life.
Another message about memories: it is our life with our loved ones and our shared stories and experiences that have SHAPED who we are and the lives we have created.
Co-writer/director Joel Crawford said, “And one of the big themes that evolved was about identity—that no matter how far you travel, if you know where you came from, you know where you’re going. And so much of that is tied to your roots and celebrating them, but also friendships.” The movie did a great job in capturing the family / friend dynamics in the Filipino culture authentically, as well as the unique cultural tidbits that I forget about until I see them on the big, colorful screen! Lynn and my Mom were the top two biggest influences in my life thus far. They greatly shaped who I have become, my thought processes, my values and beliefs, my decisions, etc. Understatement of the year: it is SO hard to keep moving forward without the people who were such a big part of you! And I am still learning how to have enough faith that they and our memories are still in my heart. As someone who holds memories in holding onto Lynn’s and my Mom’s stuff, I really loved hearing that recognizing, appreciating, and remembering where I came from, and who has gotten me here will keep them alive.
There were soooo many message in this movie, and I will definitely be watching it multiple times before it leaves the theater! And I do not typically love animated movies! The cinematography was exceptional, the soundtrack – with lots of 80’s / 90’s music, was FANTASTIC, it was soo much fun, AND everyone in my group cried at least a couple of times! Highly recommend!!!

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Belongings, LGBTQ+ Widowed

About Grace Villafuerte

Grace Villafuerte’s long time partner passed away in late 2014 and she has attended and presented at many Camp Widow events. She has worked in Social Services in Sonoma County for 28 years, is a SAGE trainer, and works closely with older adults - many in the LGBT community. Most of her professional and non-professional life is filled with participating in and organizing LGBT events (including Sonoma County Pride), facilitating discussion groups and training addressing LGBT older adult issues, and volunteering and fundraising for nonprofits working with HIV clients and LGBT youth.

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