This post may sound like a rehash of a former post as I continue to clean out the garages of the house I purchased with my late-husband, Rich, six years ago in Georgia. That garage also contains the remainders of three homes in New Jersey. There are so many photos, cards and letters that I’ve accumulated, some dating back to the early 1970s that it is emotionally overwhelming at times.
The other day I finally discarded our Wedding Cards that are now nearly 30 years old. I also discovered the cards my mother received congratulating her on the birth of her first child, me. There’s an authograph book from 8th grade and I came upon a photo of my friends and myself on our graduation day from Hackensack High School. Sadly, I learned of the recent passing of one of the young women in that photo.
So many beautiful photos of my late sister, Manette and her son, Zac, also deceased. Pictures of my late brother Matt and my parents who’ve gone on as well. And so many photographs of beloved pets that enhanced our family home and of course Rich.
I know I can digitatize them, but there is something sacred about the originals. I go through batches and make piles of those who might want to receive them and discard unflattering pictures and duplicates. When I do decide to discard, I talk to the spirit of the person(s) in the photo, thanking them for the sweet memory and asking them to understand how difficult this process is and to know that I’m not erasing their significance in my life, or anyone’s.
There are books, awards, albums, art, stuffed animals, jewelry and so on. With each visit north from my current home in Florida, I consolidate and shrink the family footprint. All those special occasions and milestones of the past that now only exist in these archives, many of those involved or honored are no longer even with us to have a lively recounting and comparison of our memories.
On an inspirational note, in taking the time to go through these nostaligic images and notes and cards that were sent to me by my friends and siblings, especially my only sister, and those addressed to my parents, I’m struck by the positive influences they still have on me and had on so many family members and friends.
In those photos of and notes from Manette, I see her fun-loving and generous spirit and the love in those pictures taken with Zac, They remind me of those days when I lived with them and the three of us enjoyed so many good times. Many cards and letters addressed to my mom and dad express genuine gratitude for their financial and emotional support through the years.
The spirit of my passed loved ones is alive and well in those boxes and crates. In taking the time to read and reflect on them, I’m inspired to live on in a way that they would hopefully appreciate. Of course it doesn’t take away the heaviness I feel at times that they are no longer here by my side, but it helps. And anytime we can find a way to feel lighter, it’s truly worth the time and effort even it makes the process of “discarding” a little slower.
