If you’ve been widowed a hot minute, you know there are many first and lasts you experience over the years after your partners death. This might sound weird to some people but Sunday evening the kids and I ate the last of Tony’s barbeque. Smoked sausage and brisket burnt ends to be exact. We spent […]
Widowed Belongings
Salvaging the Past
Years ago when I still lived in my hometown of Hackensack, NJ, I acquired a stained glass masterpiece; a window that had been removed from one of the city’s stately mansions demolished to make way for another new high-rise condominium complex along Prospect Avenue with a amazing view of NYC in the distance. Measuring approximately […]
Boundaries as a Superpower
Setting boundaries might be my widow superpower. Okay, maybe not a superpower but it’s a skill I continue to learn to flex. By nature, I’m a people pleaser who hates confrontation. However, losing Tony and experiencing everything that comes along with that loss changes a person. I don’t have the time or the capacity to […]
Staying in Place
I remember the day I drove home from the hospital up in Brunswick, Georgia, with the hard realization that Rich would never be walking up to our front door again. That is a sobering and defining moment. During the 3 weeks he’d spent in the ICU, each drive home was filled with a glimmer of […]
Trains of Thought
One of the most significant milestones for those who find themselves widowed is dealing with the items that belonged to your spouse, or significant other. Some people handle that task soon after the death of their partner, others wait for months, if not years, before they can bring themselves to do it. Closets. Armoires. Desks. […]
The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived
Today my late husband Rich will celebrate a birthday in the Afterlife. I don’t know how birthday anniversaries are celebrated in that world, but down here I will be celebrating the occasion in a unique and personal way by participating in my first art event since I can’t even recall. Thinking June of 2019. As […]
Taking the Longview
It is pretty special to be able to post on the occasion of my birthday. I note that today, Saturday January 14, is also Organize Your Home Day, an Awareness Observances that encourages us to declutter our homes, lives and ultimately our minds. Last year, on this very day, my family house in Hackensack, New […]
Seasons of The Mermaid
When I first moved to Southeast Coastal Georgia in March 2020, the Pandemic was in its early stages. In our new clime, however, life went on pretty much as usual with fewer restrictions than in the Northern region we’d just left. March in Southeast Georgia can be quite warm and by April, pool season was […]
Decluttering
“Decluttering” seems all the rage these days. Just check the internet, which contains enough information and articles on the phenomenon to easily fill an entire basement and a garage: spend an hour, a day, a week discovering for yourself the “10 Rules,” the “27 Simple Steps,” the “50 Strategies,” ad nauseam. The hype surrounding the […]
Muscle Memory
Grilling and smoking is one of the things that Tony took the lead on during our marriage. I was a passive bystander at best. One time he put me in charge of watching some jalapeno poppers he was grilling while he ran down to help a neighbor. I managed to catch one on fire and […]
The Unconclusive Conclusion
While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now […]
Widowed Wealth of Words
This week has been a huge transition in my life. I retired from my 23 year career to focus on my relationship and the business I own. I can work from anywhere which is giving me much more time to enjoy time. Of course, big transitions have change and responsibility. I’m organizing my own healthcare, […]