A few weeks ago, I wrote about a friendship that was falling apart. It escalated to the point that I have been unfriended on social media, and I am met with silence in public settings. Then I realized they had something of ours. I spent a lot of mental energy trying to figure out how to get my belongings back with the least amount of confrontation.
When Tony and I were younger he was really into horseshoes and would have weekly tournaments in our backyard. As we got a little older, and cornhole became more popular, he threw himself into bags. Again, he started hosting a weekly league in our backyard for all his friends.
Over time, Tony built 3 custom sets of cornhole boards. He would learn and make design updates with each new set. His first set is painted for the Royals. He loaned those to another friend of ours so the husband could practice at home. Right after Tony passed, they offered them back to me. I told them they could hang onto them for now, but someday I’d like them back for our boys. The second set he built was painted in a Chiefs theme and was sturdier than the first build. For the last set, he and our middle son picked a NASCAR theme and built them together.
After a remembrance event in 2021, there was a mix up as we transported boards home from the event. The Chiefs boards ended up at our friends’ house instead of at my in-laws. I didn’t worry about that and kind of forgot about it for 4 years.
Then over the last 8 months our friendship unraveled. This secondary loss has heightened my anxiety. With the final peak being the possible confrontation in getting this set back.
My opportunity came last week as I drove by another neighbor’s house, and I saw my boards sitting in her garage. In my shock, I drove by twice to be sure they were mine. After I got home, I walked up to retrieve them. I let her know they were mine and I was taking them home.
Next, I sent a text to the old friends to let them know I’d meant to come by but since I saw them somewhere else, I had taken them home. I also thanked them for holding onto them for the last few years.
Three sets of boards for my three boys. That was my focus. To me, this isn’t just stuff, it’s a piece of dad I can pass down. 
