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Green Grow the Lilacs, All Sparkling with Dew

Posted on: April 30, 2026 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Last week, Tim the gardener made his first appearance of the season at my property. Since Lee’s death, this has become an annual rite of Spring.

Before I used Tim’s services, I depended on Lee to excavate and rescue the previous year’s growth from the harsh remnants of winter’s bramble.  In her day, she would already have been hard at it: tidying the flower beds, pruning, digging, planting, pulling out garden tchotchkes, nearly too numerous to mention, from winter storage in our basement. It looked like hard work to me, yet Lee thrived on it. Hers was a labor of love.

Me? I will dabble in the garden. It is not a passion but very much a chore.  And I’m more than happy to hire out the work for Tim, who has both the tools and the technical know-how. Indeed, in my heart, I know that if it depended upon my own labor, this beautiful garden would go to seed in no time, quickly becoming an eyesore. I cannot permit it. It would be a disservice to Lee’s memory.

Throughout my life, I have been drawn to nature and the outdoors.  As importantly, however, these trees, flowers, grasses, birds, butterflies, bees, and other assorted garden creatures connect me to her. Happily, this connection gets renewed each Spring, year after year.

In the immediate aftermath of Tim’s visit, hints of a fresh, fully formed garden have emerged. Seeing this is the real payoff for Lee’s years of effort to create a beautiful, lasting green space for us. I often say that I am the undeserving beneficiary of her largess.  I am humbled, yet grateful.

Categories: Widowed Signs from Loved One

About Gary Ravitz

In relevant part, my musings are for me. It’s one of the ways in which I process losing my sweetest. Of course, Lee didn’t want to die. She had fought like hell, but the relentless cancers kept coming: Skin cancers; breast cancer; head and neck cancer; colon cancer; and finally, the deadly pancreatic cancer. In June 2020, and only after being pressed hard by Lee, her oncologist opined that my wife had from two weeks to two months left to live, turned on her heels and nearly sprinted from the hospital room, never again to be seen or heard from by us. I promptly removed Lee from the hospital and brought her home. It was the right thing to do and I only wish I had acted sooner over “the best” medical advice to the contrary. In fact, my sweet wife only had nine days left to live. At the final, she embraced her own death with great courage and unfailing kindness. It was a truly remarkable display of grace and wondrous to behold. It was my great privilege and honor to be with her every step of the way. And now, it’s my privilege to be able to write a few words to you each week. In a nutshell, I believe every journey is unique, but, hopefully, to know that you do not have to walk it alone can also be reassuring. And, along the way, you might hear a bit more information about me.
Gary

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