I swear that in this life, my lesson is to learn all about human free will. You’ve probably heard the term (I’ve also mentioned it in a previous post). It’s been around since the ancient Greek philosophers first talked about the notion that humans could freely decide between doing/choosing or not doing/choosing something. Philosophers ever […]
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Communication Breakdown
I grabbed my Android phone a few weeks back, only to observe that its familiar interface appeared different. Quickly, I determined that a new, or at least a dramatically changed, operating system had been foisted upon me and that I had to accept it. The change has been problematic. Overnight, it seemed I had lost […]
A Poet’s Wisdom
death’s sting is in my heart and mind and memories When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I […]
Party Hostess
Tony and I always loved opening our home and hosting friends. We hosted both large and small gatherings, finding joy in both kinds of camaraderie. Since his passing, I haven’t hosted as much as we used to. It’s hard to be a solo parent, juggling all that comes with that, and finding the time to […]
Moving Their Stuff Along
My widow group chat has been abuzz this past weekend. The main topic has been about “getting rid of stuff.” There are about 15 of us in the group, and on some days, if you go into a work meeting for a couple hours, you might find 50+ notifications of new messages, depending on how […]
Memorial Day Musings. Corpsman Up!
Another holiday weekend looms and I know even two day ordinary weekends bring emotional struggles for the widowed population. These occasions are often hollow reminders of what is no longer. No matter where we stand on the timeline of grief, none of us can escape the memories of past holidays, for better or worse, each […]
Unexpected Downtime
This week has been a kind of awful that I have not experienced for probably 20 years or more. Tuesday night, I started to feel progressively ill. Like the kind of ill where you know it was something you ate (in my unfortunate case it was a deli salad). By 11pm I was absolutely wrecked […]
Two Peas in a Pod
Robyn and I talk almost every morning. It’s a kind of well-being check-in for us, I think. I would get concerned if I couldn’t reach her (without an excused absence). She feels the same. In any case, during our morning chit chat yesterday, she asked me if I planned to raise a glass to honor […]
Resting in Peace
Our Own Way We wish for our person to rest in peace—what about us? Are there moments of peace that we create for ourselves? Grief follows us like a shadow. No matter where we turn it can show up. Up close and personal. First thing in the morning, as we stretch from the night’s […]
Solo Motherhood
As summer draws near and we are at the finish line for yet another school year, the weight of being a solo parent has been even more apparent lately. First, it started with research and enrollment for kindergarten. The official public school days are about to begin, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. […]
Sundays are the Most Nostalgic
Sunday afternoons are sometimes still the most nostalgic and bittersweet times. I frequently have packed weekends, often a little too “peopley.” And it is a relief to get to Sunday evening, to pause, rest, and get into that somewhat resistant mindset of, “the weekend is over and Monday is looming.” My bones still remember with […]
Who Says You Can’t Go Home?
“Who says you can’t go home?” asks the lyrics of a song written by New Jersey natives, Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora. Two weeks ago, I made a trek to my home state of New Jersey for a quick visit with some friends and to attend a class reunion. I’d looked forward to returning […]