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Do You Believe in Life After Love?

Posted on: May 24, 2026 | Posted by: Grace Villafuerte

Love songs hit different now, for many reasons. Lately, I have been touched by what would be categorized as “love songs,” but I take them in as me talking to myself…
Two songs have really taken my breath away lately, and are on the soundtrack of my current chapter and whatever-life-transition-I-am-in-now.
Adam Lambert’s rendition of Cher’s “Believe” is amazing and so powerful! It is about the post-break-up time, so that part does NOT relate as a widow. But, what a deep, profound, and bittersweet question to ask myself. I HAVE lived since Lynn’s passing. I would say I have managed to create an amazing life that I am pretty pleased with. But, deep deep down, I do still harbor a sentiment of, “my life with Lynn was better than any life I will have in the future.” THAT is what the pinched feeling I feel when I listen to this version of this song. Not just living, but LIFE, living and feeling fully. I will just say, I am absolutely getting there – I am starting to feel and see that my life in the past 11 years since Lynn passed, and all my years in front of me, I have lived and felt fully, at least at the capacity I could at the time. And, that is not enough anymore, I am ready to live fully-er…. fully-est? Lol. “And I know that I’ll get thru this… cause I know that I am strong…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PzQHZLiUPs&list=RD5PzQHZLiUPs&start_radio=1
I had the recent point of view to listen to “You’re Still the One” by Shania Twain – as sung from me TO me. Wow! I am one of my biggest critics, and constantly chastising myself for a million things every day. Listening to the lyrics of this song, and imagining walking this life with the younger versions of myself, I realize – I HAVE come along way. Yes – with a lot of “help from my friends;” but thru it all, there was always me pushing myself along, getting myself out of bed, putting one foot in front of the other, letting myself sleep longer if I needed to, having the crying spells and then still getting up afterwards. And the line, “They said, I bet, they’ll never make it,” reminds me of the verbal and non-verbal judgement from people regarding how I chose to travel on my grief journey. I love the saying, “The best revenge is to living your life.” It’s hard not to try to defend and justify how I walk my journey, and thank goodness for my fellow widows on their similar journeys, so we can celebrate and cheer each other, because we know even the little wins (making it thru the day) are significant.
“You’re Still the One”
Looks like we made it
Look how far we’ve come, my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we’d get there someday
They said, “I bet they’ll never make it”
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together, still going strong
You’re still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life
You’re still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss goodnight
Ain’t nothin’ better
We beat the odds together
I’m glad we didn’t listen
Look at what we would be missin’
They said, “I bet they’ll never make it”
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together, still going strong

Categories: Widowed and Healing, LGBTQ+ Widowed

About Grace Villafuerte

Grace Villafuerte’s long time partner passed away in late 2014 and she has attended and presented at many Camp Widow events. She has worked in Social Services in Sonoma County for 28 years, is a SAGE trainer, and works closely with older adults - many in the LGBT community. Most of her professional and non-professional life is filled with participating in and organizing LGBT events (including Sonoma County Pride), facilitating discussion groups and training addressing LGBT older adult issues, and volunteering and fundraising for nonprofits working with HIV clients and LGBT youth.

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