• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Widow's Voice

Widow's Voice

  • Soaring Spirits
  • Donate
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors
    • Grace Villafuerte
    • Emily Vielhauer
    • Dianne West Garvey
    • Liliana Henao Holmes
    • Gary Ravitz
    • Sherry Holub
    • Lisa Begin-Kruysman

More Than Wishful Thinking

Posted on: March 6, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Lola the pup has a trick.  In the morning when she is ready to eat, she picks up her travel food bowl and parades with it, making sure that anybody up and about knows she wants to be fed.  I get Lola’s message, naturally, but there is a time threshold I will hold her to before feeding her, no matter how damn cute she acts. This morning after a sufficient waiting period, I filled Lola’s bowl with fresh kibble, added some dark meat chicken from the most recent Costco bird, added a spot of warm water, stirred, and, voila’, kibble and chicken in a tasty au jus. Thirty seconds later, Lola was looking for more food.  It is a game we play each morning.

While Linda was awake, her husband Bob was still asleep.  When Lola heard Bob open the bedroom door, she grabbed her now-empty travel food bowl and carried it in his direction, hoping to scrounge a second breakfast. Her efforts proved unsuccessful, but Linda and I laughingly had to give Lola kudos for a good effort.

***

Later in the morning, after several rousing games of pickleball at Tom and Sherry’s development, Linda and I scoot home to clean up and fetch Bob for a luncheon at  Tohono Chul, a lovely botanic garden carved out of the Sonoran Desert, which includes a popular bistro. Over lunch, Sherry and Linda discuss politics while Tom regales Bob and me with tales about the planes and drones the Air Force maintains at its large base in Tucson. The base is adjacent to a “boneyard” where the Air Force stores dozens, if not hundreds, of retired military aircraft. This was an unusual, must-see destination until the Air Force declared it off-limits to civilians.

After lunch, we explore the gardens. Away from the shade, the afternoon sun feels hot.

***

Bob and Linda have spent an enjoyable first week here in Tucson, despite not accomplishing anything particularly memorable or noteworthy. We have many good conversations, which help to renew our bonds.  Toss in plenty of good food and drink, music, along with lovely weather and time for relaxation, who could possibly ask for more?  Still, I wish Robyn were here to share it with me.

***

I have mentioned here that Robyn claims not to like Tucson. Unfortunately, I am also convinced that where it involves my friends Robyn feels like an outsider. It’s a tough spot for her, I suppose. Robyn knows Lee was Linda’s best friend and a close friend to Bob, Tom, and Sherry. Robyn’s impression is that Sherry particularly does not like her. Sherry certainly can be judgmental and perhaps Robyn is correct, though I have no hard evidence to present that she is.

However, it’s a tough spot for me as well. I don’t like being torn by divided loyalties. Yet, I am hopeful a time will come when Robyn enjoys the company of friends as much as I do.

Categories: Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends

About Gary Ravitz

In relevant part, my musings are for me. It’s one of the ways in which I process losing my sweetest. Of course, Lee didn’t want to die. She had fought like hell, but the relentless cancers kept coming: Skin cancers; breast cancer; head and neck cancer; colon cancer; and finally, the deadly pancreatic cancer. In June 2020, and only after being pressed hard by Lee, her oncologist opined that my wife had from two weeks to two months left to live, turned on her heels and nearly sprinted from the hospital room, never again to be seen or heard from by us. I promptly removed Lee from the hospital and brought her home. It was the right thing to do and I only wish I had acted sooner over “the best” medical advice to the contrary. In fact, my sweet wife only had nine days left to live. At the final, she embraced her own death with great courage and unfailing kindness. It was a truly remarkable display of grace and wondrous to behold. It was my great privilege and honor to be with her every step of the way. And now, it’s my privilege to be able to write a few words to you each week. In a nutshell, I believe every journey is unique, but, hopefully, to know that you do not have to walk it alone can also be reassuring. And, along the way, you might hear a bit more information about me.
Gary

Primary Sidebar

Footer

Quick Links

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors

SSI Network

  • Soaring Spirits International
  • Camp Widow
  • Resilience Center
  • Soaring Spirits Gala
  • Widowed Village
  • Widowed Pen Pal Program
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Contact Info

Soaring Spirits International
2828 Cochran St. #194
Simi Valley, CA 93065

Email: [email protected]

Phone: 877-671-4071

Soaring Spirits International is a 501(c)3 Corporation EIN#: 38-3787893. Soaring Spirits International provides resources with no endorsement implied.

Copyright © 2026 Widow's Voice. All Rights Reserved.