Sex and widowhood. I don’t hear much about it but I wonder about it. I wonder about it because I think about it. You probably do too. So I read an article this week about widowers and sex. It was kind of a sexist article, in that it spoke to the belief that widowers seek sex as a panacea to grief, that men tend more to emotions such as anger,…
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The Walk of Grief
A few weeks ago while I was in Virginia, I got to do something I’ve been wanting to do ever since Drew died. There is a spiritual center in Virginia Beach called A.R.E. – full of studies and books about spirituality and just about every topic imaginable related to death and afterlife. They also have a labyrinth on the grounds outside. Which is what…
What I Knew, But Don’t Now~
After my mom and brother died within 6 months of each other, back in 1996,I took a year to grieve and then began volunteering with hospice. Over time I studied and took courses on end-of-life issues, bereavement support, spent time with those who were dying, and became formally employed with various hospices. I volunteered at Liberty State Park…
The Musician: Part II
f you missed it, catch part I here before reading on. As I said last week: once he moved in, I didn’t give my new tenant much more thought for quite some time. He paid his rent and was really very quiet, considering, and that’s all that mattered. But sometimes, as the weeks and months wore on, I found myself waiting until I heard his car…
Be Kind
In just a few weeks, I will be hitting the three-year mark of that horrible day when my best friend and the love of my life died. Suddenly. Without warning. As that day comes to pass, I will have also begun a new chapter of this journey – of living more time on this earth with him dead than I shared with him alive. I have wondered for three years…
Bellissimo
After my appointment, I was supposed to meet a friend for a light dinner in the city before heading home. I got to the restaurant and she texted that she had to cancel last minute due to an emergency. I was already seated there with an iced tea, so I figured Id stay and get a light dinner and wait out the rush hour subway traffic going home. The…
Turning Corners
We are perhaps now forever embedded with certain triggers that can set off at any moment, without warning. I can work towards creating my “new normal” we all talk so much about, and then find myself sitting and staring into space, caught up in a memory or feeling I didn’t expect to land on me in that moment. Sometimes I’m surprised the…
Fractured Relationsships
In my extended family, there’s another young widow, a suicide survivor. Yesterday, from a distance, I saw the effects of grief on her family and friends when all the disagreements, resentments, anger, frustrations, disappointments and grudges amongst each other exploded on social media. The issues have popped up occasionally, but not to…
Of Shoes and Ships and Universes and…
I watched “Interstellar” at the movies a few days ago and came away agitated. It’s a movie that deals with our loved ones existing in parallel universes. Multi-dimensional worlds where we and our loved ones exist on different planes, with real possibilities of communication between the two.Last week I wrote in my blog about researching this…
Next to Me
After Ian died, I adapted back to being in the house as an only adult on my own pretty quickly. I’d lived here on my own for some 6 years before Ian moved in, and he was here for two and a half years. Reverting to a known mode of operation, although unwanted, wasn’t that difficult. Yes I had to factor in care of a toddler, but having to manage…
NYE Trauma and its Lessons
I shared about a month ago about going on a first date with someone. And it’s very hard to share today how that unfolded. Despite my knowing that this person had a lot of problems of his own, I decided to open up and get to know him. For about a month now we’ve talked, had a second date recently. He made me laugh more than anyone has in a long…
Happily Ever After…
…… is just a line in fairy tales. No one knows that better than those of you reading this blog. But then …… if we’re honest …… it always was. Yes, many of us had great marriages. But none of us had perfect marriages. Many of us had terrific partners. But none of us had one who was perfect.I always found it interesting how suddenly…