Hello Everyone. Happy Sunday.

Last week, I once again forgot to write in here. Life has been difficult lately. I promise to do better.

Today is my husband Nick’s birthday. Today, despite the many complicated things we are facing and going through in our relationship, I am thankful to have met him, to have experienced love a second time around, and to know that joyful life is possible after tremendous loss. I am also grateful that he is still here, alive and mostly well, after experiencing a double bypass almost two years ago this July. I am happy that he gets to live more life, and that we are both able to enjoy the moment and enjoy today. We will be attending a laser/light/music show later tonight that is supposed to be a calming experience. It is being held at a planetarium, and Ive always loved planetariums. Looking up at the stars and the night sky and hearing that narrators voice lulling you into a place of serenity and peacefulness. I hope we can both find an hour or so of calm in our otherwise chaotic and currently stressful lives.

When things are hard, these are the kind of things you wish for, and hope for, and these are the kinds of things that help you make it through the day. For me, it’s hearing or seeing a sign from Don, where I feel him close to me and know that he is forever on my side and cheering me on through this life. It’s having moments of laughter with my niece or nephew, or a genuine moment with my dad where his Alzheimer’s mind seems to be napping, and he seems more “himself” and present with me. It’s drinking a cup of coffee that is the perfect temperature, or sitting with my aging kitty Autumn and listening to her purr on the couch and be at peace. Its watching my mom start over yet again, and begin yet another career shift at age 78, a time in her life when she should be retiring and sitting on the beach like her friends, but she can’t. Her determination and ability to keep trying new things is amazing, and I admire her for her incredible attitude at life’s unfairness.

So many big things are so very wrong and so very hard right now. I have to focus on the smaller things, so that I can get myself through the big things. It will be okay. Things will be okay. Eventually. And then they wont for awhile. And then they will. And life goes on. And there is always laughter and hope and good coffee and wonderful friends who make EVERYTHING better.

Thanks for being there, friends. Thanks for reading.