Yesterday we had our two times per month Soaring Spirits Regional Group meetup. There were about 10 of us or so, at a local library, where we have our own private room and we set out a long table for refreshments. Then, we sit and chat about everything. The conversation flows naturally each time. We talk about what everyone is currently struggling with, any life victories or joys that may have taken place, (my co-leader showed off photos of her grandson, the new baby in their family), and pretty much everything in-between. It is a place of support, healing, validation, and often so much laughter. I have always believed that the reason for that is simple; when you feel 100% comfortable and free to be your true, authentic self around a group of people, then the laughs are able to more freely flow, just as the tears are. When you arent afraid of being judged or looked at funny for your feelings or emotions or for the things you say, then genuine laughter can take place, and its like this incredible release.
Yesterday, one of our members in attendance said something that really made me think. She said that she used to refer to our group as her “widowed friends”, as in: “Im going out to see my widowed friends”. However, she was getting judged for that, with comments like: “You’re still hanging out with them?”, and so now she just says: “my friends.” First of all, how incredibly sad that we all have to make these kinds of changes just to not be judged. And secondly, how true and how beautiful that we are simply FRIENDS. Because at the end of the day, we are friends. We are the friends that walk beside each other in times of hardship, times of joy, and times when our grief comes sneaking back up unexpectedly – whether its 9 months or 9 years after our losses. When this happens, our friends are there with a shoulder, a hug, and even some really dark humor to help get us through.
And yesterday, it was confirmed that these people are so much more than just a support group. We are friends, and we are like a second family. Im going through some hard stuff right now, and it was the people in that room that were and are there for me – and what a beautiful thing that is. I feel very lucky.