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Another Birthday

Posted on: March 26, 2026 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Had she not died, Lee would be turning seventy-two this coming Monday, and I would have celebratory plans already in place to mark another happy chapter. Instead, I am left to ponder what life might have been like had she lived.

Frankly, it’s confusing to consider possible outcomes. Had Lee survived, Robyn and I likely would never have met nor, certainly, have fallen in love. I probably would not be enjoying the daily companionship of Lola, my good and faithful pup. And who knows? I might even still be practicing law, at least on a part-time basis.

***

Of course, playing a game of “what if” is a hollow exercise, which, fortunately, I mostly avoid day to day. But avoiding this game completely is simply not humanly possible. For example, I still recall feeling guilty about loving Robyn, as if it were cheating on Lee.

As I say, I do not often experience such internal strife. Further, I’m not surprised that when I do, this occurs around signature events, like birthdays and anniversaries.  Much harder to explain is sudden, unexpected tumult. Regardless of whether these episodes are being triggered by a memory, an image, or a sound, this is when I feel the full impact of the sad reality that Lee can never come home.

So, I rely on memory and images.

Categories: Widowed Birthdays

About Gary Ravitz

In relevant part, my musings are for me. It’s one of the ways in which I process losing my sweetest. Of course, Lee didn’t want to die. She had fought like hell, but the relentless cancers kept coming: Skin cancers; breast cancer; head and neck cancer; colon cancer; and finally, the deadly pancreatic cancer. In June 2020, and only after being pressed hard by Lee, her oncologist opined that my wife had from two weeks to two months left to live, turned on her heels and nearly sprinted from the hospital room, never again to be seen or heard from by us. I promptly removed Lee from the hospital and brought her home. It was the right thing to do and I only wish I had acted sooner over “the best” medical advice to the contrary. In fact, my sweet wife only had nine days left to live. At the final, she embraced her own death with great courage and unfailing kindness. It was a truly remarkable display of grace and wondrous to behold. It was my great privilege and honor to be with her every step of the way. And now, it’s my privilege to be able to write a few words to you each week. In a nutshell, I believe every journey is unique, but, hopefully, to know that you do not have to walk it alone can also be reassuring. And, along the way, you might hear a bit more information about me.
Gary

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