. . . FEAR I rather envy those who don’t seem to have a lot of fears. Even if it is “not noticing” or “tuning it out” it is a skill that might be helpful at times for someone like me. I notice everything and kind of suck at tuning things out. As a young […]
Newly Widowed
As I Enter Twenty Twenty-Four
A Brief List of Happenings This year I eschewed a few traditions. “No,” I told my children, “I am not depressed; not avoiding you; not in a funk. Just changing it up for New Year’s 2024.” It was the opposite of being in a funk. Recently, I resolved to face any problems full-on and to […]
When Things Go Wrong
in Grief and Life I love this image. One folder looks like tax receipts; another could be love letters. Bookends of life. When things go wrong in grief it forms a layer on top of the grief itself. We are carrying one thing and then, suddenly, there is another layer on top (and often another […]
The Trickster of Grief
Forgetting “What did I do with my glasses?” I ask. “This is strange. I’ve looked everywhere.” This was me in my twenties, thirties, and beyond. This is me today. Five minutes ago. Perhaps if I’d gone to a Montessori school, things would be different. Nope. Forgetting has ever been a part of my norm. […]
Showing Up
to Meet the Magic It all started with remembering how my late husband, an extrovert, was so great about having energy for everything. Last minute gathering with our kids? No problem. Just tell me where and when. Holiday fun in town, or out of town, or two events in a row? Bring it on! My […]
A Wandering Poem Came to Me
To Teach Me of Myself The Universe is immense; yet, we are able to find ourselves if we pay attention. The Universe is a map for beginnings and endings; for what-if’s and what-about’s; for mystery. The Universe is filled with discarded satellites, remnants of rockets, memories of meteorites, and wandering poems to […]
The day after.
How many times have you thought back to your “day after”? That day, after your spouse shuffled off their mortal coil and you had to face a whole new life on your own, is not one that’s easily forgotten (even with the passage of time). Every now and then, that first day will pop into […]
Pursuing the Practical:
What do I need in this moment? Along the path of grieving, I’ve found many practical and proactive steps I can take to avoid trauma and to tune into my needs on a daily basis. With therapy, books, and good teachers along the way, I am learning to respond to what my body, mind, and […]
What is Grief . . .
. . . someone asked. a puzzle an enigma one long and unpredictable complication . . . a testament to love. grief the remnant from the flood proof that love existed love’s receipt. The poet, John O’Donohue says it best: For Grief When you lose someone you love, […]
Steps Toward Healing
Step-by-Step we grow through grief Merriam-Webster defines “step” as STEP n. 1 – an action planned or taken to achieve a desired result 2 – an individual part of a process… STEP-BY-STEP adj. 1 – proceeding or changing by steps or degrees On April 9, 2023 (6 days prior to the […]
I Died Too
A repost worth sharing! And another grief bomb hits. Earlier this week I went on my business as I normally do. The day-to-day activities that used to feel so impossible after Erik’s passing have now just become numbingly routine. But there I was standing in the middle of a grocery store with tears down my […]
Pause
There are times when words fail when life demands pause. There are times when Life fails Humans fail Goodness fails; leaves us frozen in disbelief grasping for some yesterday that is not now. There are times of human failure when […]