You know I’ve been through all of this before … nearly 16 years ago. The years of heavy caregiving leading to the loss of my love, the emotions, the disappointments, the sadness, the loneliness, the missing. The grief. And now all of that is on repeat. 8 months out. Some think this should be […]
Newly Widowed
Memories … I have a few
“Separation is an illusion. Though your loved ones are not physically with you, they are with you spiritually and energetically. They live in you and through you. They are ever with you, as close as your breath. When you are overwhelmed with missing their ‘form’, remember that their essence is woven into the fabric of […]
It Is What It Is
To honor the strength it takes to face what we did not choose—and to recognize the quiet courage within ourselves and others that rises up to meet it. Oprah Daily Intention, April 4, 2026 I survived ‘the visit’ just fine (reference last week’s post). As usual, my thoughts and fears beforehand were far […]
Awaiting the Unknown
So they’re coming this afternoon … I’ve boxed up all of the things for them to take away. Lots of photos that I know they want and a lot of other things I hope they will want. I read a few more of those letters Jim wrote to Estelle from Vietnam and they are just so […]
Ya gotta feel all the feelings
… and I’ve sure been doing a lot of ‘feeling’ lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just don’t have the energy to “people” – to put on that happy face for others. I have a […]
For Better or For Worse
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it. I love Iris’ words: “We made a commitment … and although it’s not easy, this is all part […]
Alone Again, Naturally
I went to the hockey game by myself last night. Round 1, Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs for my Vegas Golden Knights. Sold my extra ticket online to a stranger (who didn’t show up for the game) but I was surrounded by young couples having a great time. Our official Golden Knight […]
Ashes to Ashes
I thought I’d have a bit more time with him … but they want his ashes shipped now. So I got those required boxes from the Post Office and I carefully wrapped up both Jim and Estelle (his first wife) according to the specific instructions. I wasn’t able to fit both of them in one […]
Still Some Cocooning
It was a busy week (for me) but I survived it. Cocooning still feels more comfortable and safe, but I know it’s important to get back out there socially so I’m trying. Thursday I enjoyed catching up with my old co-workers after so long … I should say ‘former’ not ‘old’ since I do believe […]
Six Months
Even though it’s a bit cloudy, it’s a pretty lovely day here in the desert. My roses are budding and blooming, leaves have returned to the trees, there’s a soft breeze, 83 degrees. Spring has most definitely arrived. And it’s been six months since Jim died. He created this beautiful backyard, so I always […]
Start with YES
I’m now at Day 10 of this respiratory thing going around, so I’ve been isolating … which should have made it easier for me to accomplish all of the things on my list … but my energy level is at the negative level and I can’t manage more than an hour before I need to […]
Tears in Heaven
Well, I finally sold the travel trailer. It needed to go … because I won’t be taking it out on the road AND because I need to get it out of the way so Jim’s son can retrieve the cargo trailer that was behind it and pick up the Harley. Mission accomplished. Check received. And […]