I thought I’d have a bit more time with him … but they want his ashes shipped now. So I got those required boxes from the Post Office and I carefully wrapped up both Jim and Estelle (his first wife) according to the specific instructions. I wasn’t able to fit both of them in one […]
Newly Widowed
Still Some Cocooning
It was a busy week (for me) but I survived it. Cocooning still feels more comfortable and safe, but I know it’s important to get back out there socially so I’m trying. Thursday I enjoyed catching up with my old co-workers after so long … I should say ‘former’ not ‘old’ since I do believe […]
Six Months
Even though it’s a bit cloudy, it’s a pretty lovely day here in the desert. My roses are budding and blooming, leaves have returned to the trees, there’s a soft breeze, 83 degrees. Spring has most definitely arrived. And it’s been six months since Jim died. He created this beautiful backyard, so I always […]
Start with YES
I’m now at Day 10 of this respiratory thing going around, so I’ve been isolating … which should have made it easier for me to accomplish all of the things on my list … but my energy level is at the negative level and I can’t manage more than an hour before I need to […]
Tears in Heaven
Well, I finally sold the travel trailer. It needed to go … because I won’t be taking it out on the road AND because I need to get it out of the way so Jim’s son can retrieve the cargo trailer that was behind it and pick up the Harley. Mission accomplished. Check received. And […]
Finding our way
We each carry our grief – deal with our grief – in our own way. It’s important to know that there really is no right way for any of us to do this, so please don’t ever let someone tell you how you must do it or that you’re doing it wrong. You may choose […]
Reminiscing … amongst the guilt and the quiet
2025 was a hard year. Really hard. Started that year with my own health scare while Jim’s issues began to escalate. So many doctors, scans, xrays, labs for both of us. Things changed drastically for Jim in May and then I got shingles (but I did get good news on my scare, so that was […]
Same heart. New chapter.
On June 30, 2021, I hit “publish” with equal parts excitement and nerves. Today, I’m hitting it one last time — with a full heart. Keeping my promise to write here each Wednesday created a map of my path through grief. Nearly five years of questions, lessons, fears, laughter—feeling lost more times than I […]
I have a list ….
It was another 3:33 wake up morning but this one did not bring me a smile. Instead I was greeted with sneezing, coughing, runny nose, headache – and once up and fully awake – ugh, zero energy and a bit woozy. I think it’s just a cold and it will pass but I had […]
Happy “Fire Horse” New Year!
I went to the movies this afternoon and greeted my friend with, “Happy New Year!” She replied, “And Happy Mardi Gras and Ramadan!” Three big celebrations fall on the same day this year. For some years, in my own life, I look forward to the Chinese New Year each spring after being instructed in […]
A Valentine For You
V Very proud that you keep putting one foot in front of the other since your person left. A And how, when you fall down, you continue to get up and try again. L Love how bravery shows up for you at unexpected times . . . E Especially when you need it most. N […]
It’s in the Numbers
Three is most definitely “my” number … or 33 … or 333. Vern, Jeremy and I were a family of three. Vern, Jeremy and I were each 33 years old when our fathers died. After Vern died, I began waking at 3:33 each morning for months. I don’t know why I started waking at […]