What’s next for me? Mystery of seasons shows edge of winter waking; another turning. Before its return rising sun pauses unseen; as Life asks for more. A new year begs a plan. What’s next? it asks. What’s new, different, or ahead that’s waiting for me? Grief says, Hold on! Not so fast. […]
Newly Widowed
Starting the new year alone …
Well, actually the first day of 2026 found me waking up at 6am in my brother’s home in Tennessee. So I wasn’t alone at the very start of this new year – instead I was ending a lovely time with my family before heading to the Knoxville airport and my return to the desert. I […]
Rain, New Year’s Eve
by Maggie Smith Its New Year’s Eve and I’m arriving here late. It’s raining in So Cal about half a day’s worth, anyway. Perhaps Maggie’s poem will provide an insight or two. Sending love and light to all for a Happy New Year! Happy beginnings everyone…. we welcome another chance in […]
Serenity
My first Christmas without Jim has passed – and spending it in the hills of Tennessee with my brother and sister-in-law was the very best thing I could have chosen to do. Quiet. Peaceful. Plenty of childhood reminiscing. Lots of trees and deer, a horse that visits, and their furry son, Dexter, to help me […]
Approaching Year’s End
Closing Down 2025 Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My feeling? Pretty chill, actually. I’m saving my present wrapping for tomorrow after church. We draw names, so only one special person’s presents require wrap. No party happening here, so no busy prep. I plan to sit by my brightly lit tree to wrap my gifts and then […]
My First Christmas …
… without Jim. And there won’t be any decorations or a tree or any cards and gifts sent. I just can’t do any of that this year. It’s hard to get into the holiday spirit when you’re missing your husband. The Christmas tree is such a big undertaking, full of memories, and the other things […]
Holiday Pause for Peace
What do I need in this moment? I take a breath I breathe in peace I breathe in silence I breathe in words, story, and music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCpXMy5GalI&list=RDlCpXMy5GalI&start_radio=1 Please excuse the holiday ad at the beginning. Worth waiting for Peace on Earth with Bing Crosby & David Bowie and assorted music […]
Sign, Sign. Everywhere a Sign
Do you believe we can receive signs from our loved ones? I do. Some may say I’m doing a bit of reaching on this. Maybe. But if we can find something – anything – that helps us navigate through our loss, to help ease some of the pain, then why not grab it? After Vern […]
Bringing Our Person Into the Holidays
Traditions, Rituals, and Memory Making Where do we begin? How does one start a new tradition or ritual for one’s self or for a family? How does making memories help? As holidays appear and then move on, how do we fill the empty place where our person is missing? GRIEF I had my own […]
Aloneness … Loneliness, Solitude or Isolation?
Aloneness – I had not heard this word until after I was widowed. It feels bigger than loneliness, more all encompassing. It felt right for me back in 2010 and feels right for me now. I do know I can be happy living alone … it took awhile but I eventually found it after Vern […]
The Widowed
Wedding rings on or off. Belief in an after-life, or not. Belief that our person is near, or fiercely shouting “No! They are gone!” Some of us move quickly toward another relationship to fill the void. Some of us believe they are present in a new way and hang with them daily through […]
Am I Still Considered ‘Newly Widowed’ …
… since this is the second time I’ve lost my husband? I actually hadn’t thought about giving myself that label until someone suggested it. But Jim died just 9 weeks ago – so, of course, I am newly widowed. Since I went through all of this 15 years ago, perhaps I’m better prepared this time. […]