Closing Down 2025
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
My feeling?
Pretty chill, actually.
I’m saving my present wrapping for tomorrow after church. We draw names, so only one special person’s presents require wrap.
No party happening here, so no busy prep. I plan to sit by my brightly lit tree to wrap my gifts and then spend the day with family on Christmas Day.
Taking inventory, I feel grateful.
This past year I have been less quarrelsome with life. Less complaining about every-last-thing being on my plate. Yes, I allow myself to say ouch. The difference is that I’m living more in the optimism that my pre-widowed self enjoyed. Perhaps I am becoming my self anew?
It’s still true that widowed life is often five steps forward and two backward. Still, I am embracing imperfection on the regular. Life is good.
I am immensely grateful for our widowed group.
We seemed to have created an easy kind of rhythm. I have made some dear friends and I can look back and see how journeying with them has been a gift to me. We are growing together and have our eyes peeled for others who might benefit from our twice monthly meals and occasional movie or special event.
Dan Neff is deeply with me daily. Per my usual, I talk with him whenever he comes to mind. When serious stuff comes up I am still bossy about insisting that he help. Helping was always his super-power. I like believing that he’s looking after us, though I don’t have the science to back it up. I’d 100% bet money that he’s with me, though it is quite different from the way it used to be.
. . . which brings tears to my eyes and a longing in my heart . . .
My precious Lab, Indy, is my closest companion and friend. She is pure love. Indy arrived about 11 weeks after Dan passed. As she turns 5, right before his anniversary, I feel so grateful for her maturing and how she fills my days with her presence.
The Year of the Horse is coming up in February and I am excited to explore the meaning for my life in the coming year. Horse and Dragon (me!) are a good match. Maybe a new chapter is coming my way….hmmm.
