. . . FEAR
I rather envy those who don’t seem to have a lot of fears. Even if it is “not noticing” or “tuning it out” it is a skill that might be helpful at times for someone like me. I notice everything and kind of suck at tuning things out.
As a young child, fear was a constant. Fear of the dark. Fear of new people. Fear of not doing the right thing, the correct thing, the smart thing. Fear of being ridiculed.
Widowhood brought a plethora of new fears.
Fear of living alone for the first time.
Fear of the unknown future.
Fear of financial stability.
What if fear is helping me to build courage?
Courage doesn’t happen in the absence of fear. It happens because of fear. Courage is refusing to let fear win. Courage is reclaiming one’s life in the midst of the rubble that loss leaves behind. Courage is saying “yes” to life even if one’s heart is pounding.Pat Schwiebert, R.N.
I am my own scientific experiment: figuring fear.
Awakening to its presence.
I’ve noticed a “five letter word” often precedes fear: FUTURE.
If my mind moves out of the present moment toward future, fear (often) meets me there.
I ask myself, “Is future written?”
I reply to myself, “No. It is not.”
“How am I right now?
What do I need?”
Thich Nhat Hanh’s words sum it up so well:
“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously…” –Thich Nhat Hanh
The longer I live, the more I believe that our best efforts are enough.