Can joy and loss coexist? The dry, brown, feathery stalks in this photo remind me of the dried up feeling of loss that sneaks up on me. Standing directly in front of the dry stalks, sunflowers pop up through the leafy green leaves. I ask: Have you no shame yellow-face-flowers? Can you not feel […]
Where is beauty?
Where is joy? I’m grateful to be alive this day to breathe in air to witness beauty and to walk barefooted upon the earth. Grief’s feeling cycles remind me that I am alive. The values which form the backbone of my existence remind me to pay attention. Where does joy reside? […]
On Sunflowers
A Medicine for Joy? part one of a three-part meditation on joy Ah Sun-flower! weary of time, Who countest the steps of the Sun: Seeking after that sweet golden clime Where the travellers journey is done. Where the Youth pined away with desire, And the pale Virgin shrouded in snow: Arise from their graves […]
A Poet’s Wisdom
death’s sting is in my heart and mind and memories When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I […]
Resting in Peace
Our Own Way We wish for our person to rest in peace—what about us? Are there moments of peace that we create for ourselves? Grief follows us like a shadow. No matter where we turn it can show up. Up close and personal. First thing in the morning, as we stretch from the night’s […]
A 2012 Facebook Post . . .
. . . how I’m doing on that list. Some 13 years past, the Facebook posts saved as “memories” are interesting to read. My Grandmother passed away at 83 on Holy Saturday. My Aunt Cissie passed away at 99 on Good Friday (April 6, 2012 at 5am). That leaves Easter Sunday for me at 105…when […]
The Season of Time
What is time, anyway? Time is how we measure and make sense of change. At its core, time is a concept we use to track the sequence and duration of events. It’s how we understand that one thing happens before or after another and how long things last. -Chatgpt Time is both strict and magical. […]
The Liminal Space
Of Loss I’m writing today from a disoriented space of transition. A liminal space. It is said that grief is such a place. The location of disorientation today is loss. It is a practical loss; yet, still a condition worthy of discussion for those in grief. Prior to losing Dan, I would have criticized myself […]
Thinking of Those
Arriving in Edmonds Tomorrow Remembering Camp Widow Denver Gives Me Hope. I am packing and remembering. I’m recalling a tender conversation with a woman under the stairwell. She drove 18 hours to see if Camp Widow could help her manage the grief. What can possibly help when our person is gone? When facing a […]
Day in Review
On the 4th Year of Re-membering A Day in Review Writing this post is the last ritual of a day of re-membering the life of Dan Neff. Beloved husband, papa, and grandfather. Greatly missed by many. A good man. After an online workshop in the morning, I went to the cemetery to find our […]
Sixteen increments of 90 days
= A Very Long Time In just 13 days we arrive at the fourth anniversary of Dan’s death. Recently, I realized that there have been sixteen “90 day increments” since saying goodbye to my beloved. To honor this realization, I reposted my July 14th blog which I wrote exactly 90 days after his death. My […]
Three Reasons
Why It Works A few of us drove to Palm Springs this week to view Camp Widow: The Documentary at the AmDoc Filmfest. In spite of the fact that two of us have been to camp several times, we both cried during the film. Our companion, who has never been to camp, went home after […]