Here you are on display so many years after the fact. Having been only four tiny pounds yourself, you grew larger than life. You had the strength to be immutable and the grace to be tender. Tough and Tender. A combination for life. Seeing this photo undoes me. Missing […]
Anatomy of a Problem.
I am raccoon-less, feeling grateful, and wondering about problems and solutions. Picture this. The Indian Ocean is splashing fiercely at the edge of a home during a storm. It quickly fills the bottom floor with sea water. Clearly a problem, right? Or not. Today, I googled “what are the problems people have?” with this […]
Watching and Waiting
The Raccoon Saga Continues I think they’re gone. As I examine the clues of how they arrived, it seems they are gone. The urgency I felt (fear?) and signs of their presence brought a low level panic in my psyche. Why? Because I love animals and even though I know their presence could be […]
The Dance of Life in the Garden
. . . and sometimes, under the house. It is in the garden that life and death arrive on the regular. I witness living and dying primarily in the plants, grasses and weeds that come and go. I’m ever aware that when I pay attention, the garden is a valuable teacher. As a small […]
A Personal Eclipse
On April 4th, I ordered my eclipse glasses in preparation for the 2024 Solar Eclipse. Although I knew that the best places to observe were Texas, Mexico, and Canada, I would be settling for my patio in Riverside, CA. I donned my funky glasses and looked toward the sun which showed up as a fat, […]
Comparing Grief Confessions
[today’s view in contrast to 166+ days out . . .] Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. [it is now 1,126 days since he left . . .] The clock ticks on as I write, rendering the time estimate incorrect seconds after […]
The Many Masks of Grief
. . . my story What am I feeling? Bad. I feel bad. Am I experiencing this feeling from a lack of sleep? Have I eaten? I’m feeling depressed. Is this feeling related to another step in my grief? Another reality check? (I check the calendar…is this an anniversary my body is remembering?) […]
An Eye Opener:
Worldwide Widowed Communities What took me to stories about widowed folk around the world? Just returned from a mini-vacay where I had no responsibilities other than showing up for the fun. Arriving home to my regular routine, settling into the normal challenges of my post-Dan-life, I found myself wondering about the lives of […]
Facing Ambush
Part of the Work of Grief Sometimes your feelings are right. You need to take a chill pill, slow down, hang out with friends, and cry your heart out. Other times, they need to be corrected. What you need to do then is examine your emotions, separate false from truth, make a plan for refreshing, […]
In the Shadow of the Anniversary
Year Three My imagination moves toward the clouds when I think of Dan. In the early days, I explored the clouds with curiosity and searched for him there. This particular cloud image is meant to show me past the event, so I selected one with light, shadow, darkness and clouds. The death-day passed with hard […]
Traveling in the Land of Grief
Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary milestone, just days away, it was bittersweet reading this post from the beginning of my journey. I hope […]
Widowed Movies
Fact: I am a hopeless cinephile. I was reminded of my love of film while watching a documentary on YouTube named “Sr.” The film features the life of Robert Downey, Sr., created and filmed by his son. We visit the elder Downey’s life as a filmmaker and follow while he is being filmed in real […]