Past to Present to Future

 

In the 17th century, physicist Isaac Newton saw time as an arrow fired from a bow, traveling in a direct, straight line and never deviating from its path.

 

It is January 8th where the movement of time is already on display in the year 2025.

Only seven days ago, we stood in the gap; counting down to the new year.

We witness time moving through us in its endless journey of perpetual motion.

As I ponder time in the predawn gift of this day, I’m touched by wonder when contemplating its nature. I sense a community of folks pondering with me. I wonder if the through line goes as far back as cave dwellers.

Yet, amid the endless thoughts, opinions, and statements that exist about time, we find our own lived experience of it as we contemplate its action in our lives.

 

In the first year after losing my person, I recall looking at the clock around 5:00 pm and thinking,

“Oh good…it’s almost time for bed.”

In that moment in time, I found comfort from grief in sleep. I did not question it. Intuitively, I knew that sleep was my friend.

 

Later, my mind introduced another view point:

“It’s 5:00pm…Hmmm. It seems there are many hours left before bedtime.”

When I allowed the possibility of the new statement, I invited myself to experiment with delaying bedtime until after 9:00 pm. For me, this was a way of inching out of the cocoon (a cozy bed!) and returning to life in increments.

 

“The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you’re faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking.” — James Patterson

 

Photo and prose by David Whyte

 

Our process is simply our process. While some may see what they imagine to be better ways for our journey, we are finding our way in the specific landscape of our grief. We are intuitively leaning into the puzzle of our own life to discover who we are now.

A question I ask myself when getting advice is, “what part of this advice will work for me right now?” Then I remind myself,

Take what you need and leave the rest.

 

The real question that matters to me is one that is not easily answered.

Who am I now that you are gone?

And the follow-up question

Who am I becoming?