An Underground River of Loneliness A yellow phone similar to this one – the wall version – hung in my kitchen for more than twenty years. In the age of invention, the wall model could be fitted with an extra long cord that stretched through the doorway allowing dish washing, eyes on kids, and baby […]
THINKING ABOUT
BRAVERY What does it mean to be brave? Definition of bravery 1 : the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : the quality or state of being brave : courage showing bravery under fire. As I write I am on the doorstep of the Memorial Day […]
Exploring
The Puzzle of Time Sitting at my desk, on May 17th (a Tuesday) at 8:48 pm Pacific Standard Time. The day flew by with little to count for it. Tomorrow we are mid-week as another week flies by. Time . . . Time is a wily character. It flies when you hope it will crawl. […]
Strategies for life
and hope . . . Looking out my window before dawn I witness evidence of surviving grief. Abstract but authentic proof of something deep inside that insists upon living fully alive. Twinkle lights. Twinkle lights bordering the walls of a secret garden. In the Year of our Lord, two thousand twenty one […]
Reflections about Grief
in the deep waters of the Pacific The mystery of dark blue-black ocean water is enticing and hypnotic—it pulls me in. The ocean’s power reminds me of grief. My Love, you were with me as I spent my birthday on the rough waters of the sea with thousands of these creatures beneath, before, and […]
My Love . . .
. . . as you know, today is my birthday This is seventy. I’ll be back here after my whaling day. Hoping to see signs of you, but even if I do not . . . I know you are near. I know you are always near. Will be back here to update later this […]
Five Things You MIGHT Experience After
The Funeral 1. Relief In thinking about having a funeral one year after my beloved husband died, many doubts arose. How could we gather friends and family after this much time passed? Would anyone come to the service? We were able to put together a lovely celebration of Dan’s life. And many people came out […]
He Used to Say . . .
We Were His Only Need He used to say that his heart would take him in the end, that husband of mine—the brave hearted man, father and mentor, friend to many; he used to say that we were all that mattered to him. He laid down his life for us by driving countless miles to […]
ONE WIDOW’s ABC’s
FROM THE CAMP WIDOW EXPERIENCE A – ALLOWING myself to need help was harder to do than one might think. It allowed me to receive. B – BY the time I arrived at my second camp, it was not long before I found a familiar face and a warm hug. C – CARING for myself […]
Camp Widow Tampa
Day One – Weeping Without any apparent reason, on the morning of Camp Widow Tampa, I awoke weeping. There was no bad dream. No expectation of trouble. Not even a recognition that I was going to a place named Camp Widow. Weeping was the prominent emotion that first day. In searching for reasons, I admitted […]
Sadness and Joy . . .
. . . side by side: Camp Widow! It is freeing to be in a space where your sadness is welcome—embraced!—and joy sneaks past all the barriers we have created to keep it away. This is Camp Widow. It is beautiful to witness a gaggle of folks huddling in a corner, laughing their heads off, […]
Shout out to . . .
Soaring Spirits Bloggers . . . and YOU! Recently I read Widow’s Voice blogger Stacy Sulin’s sweet farewell blog and felt guilty when I read that for the past five years she wrote the blog every Sunday. Oh my. My writing rhythm is a moving target. This morning at 3:00am I realized I did not […]