Widow's Voice

Day in Review

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On the 4th Year of Re-membering

Dan Neff cradling an infant grandchild with love.

A Day in Review

Writing this post is the last ritual of a day of re-membering the life of Dan Neff.

Beloved husband, papa, and grandfather.

Greatly missed by many.

A good man.

 

After an online workshop in the morning, I went to the cemetery to find our son had already visited. The clue? Dan’s favorite Mountain Dew soda and chocolate wafers on the grave.

Grave with Mountain Dew and cookies.

Messages came from the kiddos . . .

“Hi, Mom. Happy dad’s day!”

“Send dad some kisses from me!”

Denise brought this lovely bouquet to the house saying, “for the grave or for you, mom.”

We decided to share half of them with a grave nearby for a mother’s two children; which was beyond heartbreaking. Dan’s remaining portion of the bouquet looked lovely and we felt sure he wouldn’t mind sharing.

Deb and I continued the tradition of going to Ancho’s, a favorite eatery near the cemetery. Dan loved this restaurant and often went there with his men’s group.

Posing by the cowboy boot closed out the day. We opted NOT to toast with his favorite Tequila Sunrise, but each chose our favorite drink to raise a glass to Cowboy Dan.

Looking a bit ragged (me) with two ragged yet grateful hearts (us) we celebrated him on Year Four.

Each year is different.

We are inventing this as we go along.

 

 

Before leaving the graveside, I told him,

I know you are with me still.

I can feel your presence.

Thanks for a love that lasts a lifetime and beyond . . .

 

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO