Victim of Identity Theft š¤ Not the kind where creeps take your Social Security number, name and address and try to impersonate you with American Express š³. But the kind that happens after your person dies. The kind that strips you of everything that made you, you. I have a feeling you know where Iām […]
Widowed Parenting
JOKE IS ON YOU! š¤£
APRIL FOOL’S DAY Laughter is medicine for the soul, they say. Humor is the āglueā that holds a relationship together, they say. But DARK humor? It can become a survival tool too, baby!Ā I say. I am willing to bet my tax refund šµ to say that one doesnāt truly know dark humor until you lose […]
Scrambled Thoughts š³ with a Side of Trauma.
āļø It has been 842 days, 13 hours, and 41 minutes. Roughly 2 years, 3 months, and 22 days. But the trauma, the slow agonizing torture, started for me more than five years ago with his terminal brain cancer diagnosis. It blindsided us. If your person was ill for a while, you know what I […]
Iāve Gone Dark.
This week I am in it. š In a funk. The kind you canāt pinpoint to one single thing, just a mix of little and big things that make life feel so heavy and unfair all over again. It feels like a grief hangover. The kind that wants to keep you in bed for days […]
We Went to Church
A few weeks ago, I took the boys to Church. And by Church, I mean Eric Church. This was Tonyās favorite singer and every song he released; Tony seemed to identify with more than the last. I donāt think there was a song he didnāt like. Right after Tony passed, tickets for one of his […]
HAPPY? BIRTHDAY TO ME š„³
March 8th, 2026 I turned 51. Happy birthday to me š„³ That wordā¦ happy. Its meaning has changed so much for me. It takes real effort for me to say it these days, because very few things feel worthy of that word. Everything is tainted by the shadow of grief. I stop and think: Do […]
Hi, My Name is Lilianaā¦
THE MORNING I WALKED INTO A GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP I sat there, in my car, for what felt like an eternity. It was a cold, overcast Thursday morning in mid-February 2024, just like in the movies. I drove one hour to a city in Virginia to attend a Loss of Spouse Grief Share support Group, […]
Sick and Tired
The last two days Iāve been sick and tired, literally. We had a busy Friday and Saturday night, and I thought I was just sore from the weekend. Then I noticed it felt like my skin hurt. That first sign your getting sick before the real symptoms set in, leaving you question if itās real […]
Changes Coming
Itās only February but wheels are already in motion for another season of changes. My oldest will be a senior in high school next school year. Iāve heard that year is hard on many parents with all the changes it represents. Crossing each of those milestones without his dad feels heavy. I know it might […]
My Stocking
The Christmas dĆ©cor has already been packed away. Another Christmas passed and further away from when Tony was here. Iāve convinced the kids we donāt need to put up the tree anymore. Itās so heavy and a lot of work put up and tear down. There are no believers in my house anymore and it […]
The Widowed
Wedding rings on or off. Belief in an after-life, or not. Belief that our person is near, or fiercely shouting “No! They are gone!” Some of us move quickly toward another relationship to fill the void. Some of us believe they are present in a new way and hang with them daily through […]
Holiday Travel
Iām sorry I bailed on everyone last week. It was on my mental to do list to request a repost blog, but I didnāt write it down. Most of us suffer from forgetfulness in widowhood and I am no exception. When I finally remembered I forgot to send that email, it was late Monday afternoon, […]