A few weeks ago, I wrote about a friendship that was falling apart. It escalated to the point that I have been unfriended on social media, and I am met with silence in public settings. Then I realized they had something of ours. I spent a lot of mental energy trying to figure out how […]
Widowed Parenting
Summer of Daddy
Lately, the twins have been mentioning Daddy more often than usual. It started with Wyatt wanting to look at picture books of him each night for their bedtime story. Then, during nap time the other day, Charlotte was mumbling ‘daddy, daddy’ in her sleep and woke up crying. And lately, they have been singing the […]
Letting Go
Again My son surprised me when he seemed surprised himself when I said “I’m giving away Dad’s chair.” His face witnessed to his inner reaction. It was unexpected his desire to hold on to the recliner. It’s been four and a half years and I thought if one of the kids wanted it […]
Seasons of Change
And just like that, we say goodbye to June and hello to July. What a whirlwind of a month June was. I felt like I was holding on to the bumper of a car moving at 100 miles per hour. It was a month full of milestones, memories, and so so many emotions. Looking back […]
Insignificant, Yet Significant
A repost! There are just some things that I can’t seem to part with. For the past three weeks, I have been trying to get rid of a set of bath towels that the twins have been using. It has definitely seen some better days. For some reason, I just can’t seem to say goodbye […]
Mysteries of the Future
In April, I started with a new therapist, and I’ve been seeing her consistently since our first session. Today we were discussing secondary losses towards the end of our session. Just as the bulk of my session was winding down, I hit on a new topic that was bigger than the 2 minutes we had […]
Party Hostess
Tony and I always loved opening our home and hosting friends. We hosted both large and small gatherings, finding joy in both kinds of camaraderie. Since his passing, I haven’t hosted as much as we used to. It’s hard to be a solo parent, juggling all that comes with that, and finding the time to […]
Solo Motherhood
As summer draws near and we are at the finish line for yet another school year, the weight of being a solo parent has been even more apparent lately. First, it started with research and enrollment for kindergarten. The official public school days are about to begin, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. […]
Wanderlust
A repost! Last week the twins and I returned from my first solo flight with them since Erik’s passing. I had been anticipating this flight for quite some time. All the worries that come with being a solo parent at home seemed so trivial compared to all the worries I had about traveling alone with […]
Me Day
I took a last-minute vacation day last week to spend the day alone. The decision came after looking at the calendar and realizing almost every day between now and the end of school is occupied with kid activities. Once school is over, I’ll have three feral boys in my space all day, every day. I […]
Back to Therapy
In response to feeling overwhelmed lately, I have been buying books and exploring therapy options. It started with ‘The Let Them Theory’ by Mel Robbins a few months ago and I wrote a post on that. Now I’m reading ‘What Happened To You?’ by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. and Oprah Winfrey. I have made […]
The Living Bucketlist
What a world. The twins and I have been on back-to-back trips for the last few months. We recently just got back this past Saturday from a trip to Japan and South Korea and wow, what a trip it was. It was another bucketlist item that Erik and I had. As I continue to travel […]