In response to feeling overwhelmed lately, I have been buying books and exploring therapy options. It started with ‘The Let Them Theory’ by Mel Robbins a few months ago and I wrote a post on that. Now I’m reading ‘What Happened To You?’ by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. and Oprah Winfrey. I have made my way through about a third of the book and I’ll report back when I finish. I also purchased a book specific to suicide loss; I have yet to start.
Today, I started with a new therapist. There were a few idiosyncrasies that led me to her, and I think she’ll be a good fit. After I called and scheduled the appointment, they emailed me the directions for my session. That’s when I discovered she meets with clients in the church Tony and I were married in. As I navigated my way through the church today, I found myself waiting on the couch our families sat on while we finished getting ready. My session took place in the same room I put on my wedding dress in. I felt emotional just sitting in that space, but I took it as a sign I was where I needed to be.
It has been at least three years since I tried therapy for the first time. I never really gelled with that first therapist but didn’t realize how important that was so early on. My hope this time around is to gain some new tools to deal with the grief and life changes that invariably pop up in life. I also feel I’m in a better position to get professional guidance on how to help my kids through their emotional swings.
Taking those first steps to research, select, schedule, and fill out the paperwork for a new therapist is daunting. It is daunting to think about starting the search from scratch again. I hope I picked a good one, but time will tell. In the meantime, I’m proud of myself for taking this step again in my grief.
