Tony and I always loved opening our home and hosting friends. We hosted both large and small gatherings, finding joy in both kinds of camaraderie. Since his passing, I haven’t hosted as much as we used to. It’s hard to be a solo parent, juggling all that comes with that, and finding the time to throw a party.
I have always had this urge to throw an unsanctioned after party following an event at school. We live close to the elementary school, and nothing makes me want to hang out with adults more than spending an hour in a gymnasium full of screaming kids.
I have been a parent at our elementary school for 11 years. This was my final year as my youngest finished 5th grade. One of the last Fridays before school dismisses, they put on a 5th grade farewell. It’s kind of like field day but just for their class, the day ends with an emotional slide show. Most parents take the day off to attend and volunteer.
So, I decided to make my little idea a reality. I opened my backyard to every 5th grade family I knew with instructions to spread the word if I missed their kid’s best friend.
My son and I cleaned up the patio in preparation and we ordered kid drinks and snacks. A few friends came over early and brought ice and helped me load coolers. All the things Tony and I would have done together, but we found another way.
We ended up having somewhere around 60-75 people in the backyard for the party. Everywhere I looked, kids were playing, and adults were enjoying themselves. It filled my heart to see so many people enjoying the backyard space that Tony and I built and designed. I remembered how much I love hosting events like this. Two different friends approached me to tell me I was glowing. It was a wake-up call that I need more of that in my life.
It was the kind of party that had me grinning as my head hit the pillow and was still there when I woke up. I wish Tony had been here to see it; he would have loved it. But I’m also happy that I found joy in hosting without him, he would have been proud.
