As my birthday approaches next week so does the day that I met Erik. I met him the day after my 21st birthday. I always told him getting to meet him was my late, but amazing life-changing birthday gift. Although, I did think my birthday was on the 28th of August for 13 years of […]
Widowed Parenting
Growing Up
Last week my kids started back at school. Building up to it, I didn’t feel overly anxious about Tony missing this milestone yet again. However, I didn’t have time to really process that part of it. This year (and next) my boys will attend three different schools. So that is triple the number of back-to-school […]
When Reality Hits
What a rollercoaster of a week it has been. Last Friday was both Erik’s and the twins’ birthdays. I used to love this day. How special it was that they shared a birthday with their father. How special Erik felt that he got his legacies as a birthday gift. Now I am conflicted about this […]
I Died Too
And another grief bomb hits. Earlier this week I went on my business as I normally do. The day-to-day activities that used to feel so impossible after Erik’s passing have now just become numbingly routine. But there I was standing in the middle of a grocery store with tears down my face again. A year […]
Last Parent Standing
I am not a single parent. I am a solo parent. It was only a few months after Erik’s passing that I was out of town. Everything during this time was still painful. Waking up, breathing, pretending to smile, existing – it was all so painful. I was on my way to the airport to […]
Camping Without Him
This weekend the kids and I embarked on another first without Tony. Two years and three months after his passing I accepted an invitation to go on a camping float trip. Tony loved the outdoors and for him all the prep work to camp was worth the effort. I went along for the ride because […]
And the story changed forever…
Author’s Note: Thank you Emma, for the introduction and warm sentiments. I will continue to carry on the Girl Tuesday role for those that are walking this similar path. I look forward to keeping up with your journey and following you at http://www.widowingemptynests.com. Thank you for sharing your story and love with us, you will […]
Prepping For Camp Widow
In two days and 18 hours I will board a plane headed for Camp Widow San Diego! This will be my third camp. I’m so excited to go back and reconnect with my mighty squad of widows. I’m also looking forward to sleeping alone in a hotel room with no small humans demanding snacks. But […]
New Circles
A few weeks ago, my younger boys tried out with a competitive club soccer organization. Even though it’s a club, every kid that wants to join makes a team. Both kids happened to land on teams that have the same coach. Then, because I’m a sucker, I got roped into being the team manager for […]
Time After Time After Time After Time
Photos my own This is – and will continue to be – a weekend full of experiments. A lot of my life is still versions of experimentation, if not in the ways it was immediately post-loss(es) when even just venturing out of the front door and heading to the shops felt like an experiment. This […]
Another One Down
Last week I was just feeling off. I didn’t go to my workout class once. All I wanted to do was eat chocolate, french fries, and curl up to escape into the fantasy saga I’m reading. It took me until Wednesday to realize it was probably in part because I was approaching our third Father’s […]
Undercurrent of Fear
Fear isn’t always something we always talk about with widowhood. Losing Tony to suicide has put an undercurrent of fear beneath all of us who held him dear. This isn’t to say that we live our lives in constant fear, but it creeps out faster for us. When I call my mom at a weird […]