Our cat has been missing for four days, and the anniversary of Tony’s death is in six days. Into that equation go ahead and add that my oldest will be 16 in two days. In summation, I am struggling.
I feel like such a failure losing the cat, as the adult in the house it’s my job to keep everyone safe. I joked about him being a pain, but I love that fluffy guy. My kids just keep looking outside, willing him to come home. I hear them whisper to the world, ‘Please come home Travis’. Telling them he was missing brought back memories of breaking their hearts when I had to tell them their dad died. Doing it 10 days before the death-iversary is excruciating.
We have posted online, gone on numerous walks, setup cameras, treats, and clothes that smell like me. There have been no leads or sightings. My hope for his safe return dies a little each day.
While I know sometimes cats can show back up days and even weeks after disappearing, it’s hard to remain confident in that possibility. How do I balance the kids believing he might come home with the reality that he could be lost to us forever? The unknown is a torturous place to remain.
Through all of this, I’m planning celebrations for my son’s birthday. Two dinners with family, a day of game play and a sleepover with his friends. I’m ordering snacks and decorations for his golden star birthday. I’m so proud of the kid he is and the man he is becoming. I hate that his birthday is now potentially wedged in with more loss.
On the outside, it probably looks like I have it all together. On the inside, I am hurting more than most realize. Travis was just a cat, but he was ours. I had to break my babies’ hearts again and that just breaks mine too. Please come home safe Trav, we miss you.
