I’m sorry I bailed on everyone last week. It was on my mental to do list to request a repost blog, but I didn’t write it down. Most of us suffer from forgetfulness in widowhood and I am no exception. When I finally remembered I forgot to send that email, it was late Monday afternoon, and I was somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.
The first Christmas after Tony died, I took the kids to Disney World instead of staying home. I couldn’t stand the idea of being home and at all the family functions without him. Thus, a new tradition was born. The next three Christmas breaks, the kids and I spent out of the country, surrounded by sun and surf. After the first year, we did stick around for Christmas day but anything after the 25th and we were out.
Last year, my oldest son requested we change things up for 2025, he wanted to be home on New Years Eve. As a 16-year-old, apparently his friends are now cooler than his mom and younger brothers. Some friends already booked a Thanksgiving week cruise, so I decided to join them. Then my brother and his family booked it. So of course, my parents also booked.
We had a big group, so I didn’t feel like I stood out as the only single person. The main server didn’t ask me where Dad was. There was always another adult or kid around willing to hang out. I also felt like it was okay to sit and read in a lounge chair versus being a constant kid companion. While I always know that I am there as a solo adult, it seems to diminish the glaring otherness that I sometimes feel.
It will be weird to be home over the entire Christmas break, but it had to happen eventually. At least my Christmas shopping is already done! 
