It’s been 2 weeks, and I have been a bad widow, off doing widow things with this widow brain of mine. Week 1 totally spaced the Monday blog duty. Week 2, forgot to email and ask for a repost since I was out of town. Bad widow brain.
Right before school started, I took the boys to California to meet the first friend I made at Camp Widow. They have never met anyone from my widow squad, nor do they know any other kids that have lost a parent to suicide.
After watching me run and jump into the arms of my friend, my oldest son remarked, “I see why you are friends. You are both very bouncy.” He’s not wrong and she’s one of the best things to have come out of this chapter of life. Having a friend who just gets it is so precious.
Our families loaded in a van and headed to the CA/AZ border, AKA the Colorado River. We spent the weekend cooking, playing in the water, taking boat and jet ski rides. Even though it was over 100 degrees, I found myself soaking in the landscape that is so different from home. I love experiencing new places and sharing them with the kids.
The weekend away was a replacement for another trip we were supposed to take. Tonys death ultimately brought both things to cross. Without losing him, I would still be on the other trip. And without losing him, our kids would not have yet touched CA or AZ.
I tried to take it all in; my kids playing, my friend opening her happy place, the beautiful bluffs, and the fresh water. I sighed as it dawned on me. I have had plenty of ups and downs as I’ve navigated my life after loss, but I have never stopped trying to make lemonade. The lemons are always there. Sometimes, I just have to get on a plane to get the sugar.
