Doing things that Michael and I would have enjoyed together was once unthinkable. “If he’s not here to enjoy them then I shouldn’t” was a philosophy that was stuck in my brain the first months after his passing.With time though, I realized that that was not doing myself or what Michael had taught me any justice. Little by little I dipped my toes…
Widowed Suddenly
renovated reactions
On the day our daughter, Liv, first started preschool, my husband, Jeff, and I dropped her off together. We helped her off with her coat. We put her shoes on the mat. Then, we stared expectantly at her wondering (possibly hoping) if she would start to cry and demand that we stay. She didn’t. In fact, Liv told us with thirteen year old form, “You…
Expired
I just received a notice from the Fictitious Business Name Renewal Center. Apparently Phil’s fictitious business name will expire if he doesn’t pay the $125 fee before September 28, 2009. Somehow I don’t think the check will arrive in time. Seems this company has no record of Phil’s death. The fact that there could be any organization left that I…
This, Too, Shall Pass ….
It’s time to be brutally honest and up front with all of you. Proceed with caution. Before I write this confession, I must also confess that there’s no way that I believe I am alone in this. And that is why I decided to write about it.I have wanted to die. No shock there, right? We’ve all felt that desire. But for me, there have been more than just…
Not Dead Yet
I had another run in with death this week…No, not a friend or family member. This time it was me. How, you might ask? “Ms. Dippel, we are having a problem verifying your credit for your cable installation…..(uncomfortable pause….) um, Ms. Dippel, uh, has anyone ever told you that you show up as “deceased” on your credit report?”Yup, that’s…
Compare and Contrast
Yes, your eyes are working well. I have actually posted a photo of Phil and I above a photo of me and my boyfriend, Michael. Why? While I was interviewing widows several years ago, I spoke to many women who were in new relationships. I asked each of these ladies…”Do you compare your new partner to your former husband?” Without exception they…
I Am Thankful
This weekend I am at another AWP event. We have military widows from all different creeds and backgrounds, all celebrating, smiling and living life to the fullest. As I sit in their presence, I am in awe and honored to be in their presence.In each of them I celebrate their own individual journey, as it reinforces my own. I never envisioned my life…
Good-bye to Mie
Widows need widows. I first realized this when I didn’t know who to ask how long I should wear my wedding ring after Phil’s death. At the time I had no idea there was no definitive answer to that question. Meeting other widowed people taught me that I would discover my own wedding ring answer as time passed, and that there would likely be a long…
joining the team
Hi, I’m Jackie. Unfortunately, if you’re reading this, you are most likely on the same dreaded team as me – a Widow. On March 25th, 2008, my husband, Jeff, our kids and I woke early to get him to the doctor because he hadn’t been feeling well. He had put off going to the GP because he hated to admit there was ever anything physically wrong…
Unlikely Community
When Phil died on August 31, 2005 Matt and Liz Logelin were a happy couple with their whole lives ahead of them. As my body writhed in pain at the violent removal of my husband from my life, Matt was thinking about his next trip with Liz and the adventures that traveling the world with the love of his life would surely bring. While I searched for a…
Didn’t See it Coming ….
…. and …. shockingly enough …. it came …. and went …. and I never saw it. Friday was the 18th, month 22. And I didn’t think about it one time. Even as I wrote the date down once or twice, it still didn’t occur to me. After last month’s tsunami of a wave slammed into me on that date I find this incredible. And very hard to believe. And a…
Michele’s Musical Mondays
My personal taste in music is extremely eclectic. I am influenced by all kinds of things when it comes to music; including my children, though they claim to be unable to improve my musical tastes. One thing you can count on though is there will be music playing somewhere when I am driving, home alone with no kids to complain about what I am…