Like thousands of others, I went outside to look up into the Universe the other night to see if I could find Saturn and Jupiter joining to create the so called Christmas star. I have an app on my phone that allows me to point it at the sky and identify the stars and constellations […]
For me, this Christmas, and always, I choose to focus on the LOVE and not the loss. This makes all the difference for me.
This year has been nothing less than bipolar. Severe ups, downs, twists and turns I could never expect. Year 1 and 2, I could keep busy, keep moving and face the loss of Clayton when I wanted too. Now, year 3, in a pandemic with the world halted, I’m forced to taste the truth and […]
“What was I just doing? What was I about to say? What is that person’s name? I’ve known them for years. Damn it Bryan! What is wrong with you?” For a while, I thought that maybe I was a little crazy. I was struggling to understand why my thoughts were so scattered and why I […]
Cooking was something I was always interested in doing. The first meal I ever cooked was a southern fried chicken dinner when I was around 11-years old. After that, I simply enjoyed cooking whenever the mood struck. I cooked regularly as a teen, then into my adulthood, I carried on.
Suzanne was an amazing cook—she was a true “foodie”. She loved to go to a restaurant and try something new. Then, as soon as the time was right, she would recreate the same meal at home. Her knack was getting the flavors almost identical to whatever we had eaten at the restaurant. It was a natural ability of hers that never ceased to amaze.
Alison is on the road this week and won’t have access to internet so we’ve chosen this post from 2017 to share with you until she returns next week. Enjoy! There is a particular and peculiar loneliness of the sort that cannot be imagined for its’ overwhelming and enveloping totality, that strikes me when I […]
The first thing I learned to do when Clayton passed away was say “No”. I said no to getting out of bed, no to eating, no to showering, no to the gym. No was the safest place I could hide myself. Saying no stopped the world and that is just where I wanted to be. […]
It is my hope that one day, in the very-distant future, I will look back and see how far I have come and be proud of myself and my resilience. And when it comes time to close my eyes for the last time, I hope to be listening to music, because if all of my feelings of gratitude and positivity were to be encapsulated in one word, I think I would choose music.
The holidays. Sometimes “The Holidays”. Tra la la la la. In the midst of grief, the words loom large. They loom large even when it isn’t about intense grief but just…eh. THE HOLIDAYS. Tra la frickin’ la. I just spent the last month grinching out to my kids about my feelings regarding the holidays. No […]
Since Tin’s passing, many have said he is with me, many have said he’s moving things in and out of my path to help make things easier and more successful for me. On many occasions, I have found pennies, dimes, seen cardinals, butterflies and got a call or text just at the moment I needed […]
In my life I’ve been quiet and loud Still and vibrant Strong and vulnerable Smiled and cried I’ve been a Highland dancer A belly dancer And a hoop dancer There was so much joy in me As I danced. Since your death I’ve pushed myself to do what I’d never considered doing… I’ve been […]
Yesterday was my 42nd birthday. I’m unbelievably grateful for the outpouring of celebration especially on social media where so many of us are finding community during a pandemic. I decided that the day should start with a toast to lost loves and no better way than a glass of Veuve Clicquot champagne – The Widow’s […]