Nothing, except everything. Yesterday, May 5th, the grief hit me out of nowhere, yet not entirely unexpectedly. We loved turning nothing into something, any excuse into a celebration. Take Cinco de Mayo, for instance. Not Mexican Independence Day 🇲🇽 and not a widely celebrated holiday in Mexico, but after nearly 30 years […]
Widowed Memories
Ya gotta feel all the feelings
… and I’ve sure been doing a lot of ‘feeling’ lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just don’t have the energy to “people” – to put on that happy face for others. I have a […]
Alternate Routes
It was an eventful week filled with emotional milestones. I spent most of the week up in Georgia again to ready my home for a new tenant. As I’ve shared previously, I put my house up for sale two months ago and in doing so, invested considerable energy and funds to make it shine. I […]
For Better or For Worse
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it. I love Iris’ words: “We made a commitment … and although it’s not easy, this is all part […]
DeathFest V in Review
A week ago, I hosted a party called DeathFest V (5) to honor the life Tony lived and the person he was. Tony loved revelry with all the people he loved. Even though the party had a dark name, gathering together was at the center of the event. As I built the invite list, I […]
The Small Gestures That Help the Healing
I have such strong memories of the times people have said things that were – unbeknownst to them – hurtful to hear as a grieving widow. We know them all, ” I ALSO have strong memories that make me tear up with joy when I think of the times when someone unexpectedly said or did […]
April 20th
Today, April 20th, is the fifth anniversary of Tony’s death. Yesterday I thew a huge party in his honor. (More on that next week.) As a result, my heart is both empty and overflowing with love. I had a soul cleansing cry at the end of the night (which was technically today). It was good […]
The House That Won’t Let Go
I know I’ve been writing alot about my home in Georgia lately. It was the home that my late husband, Rich, and I purchased at the beginning of 2020. It still strikes me as how big an adjustment it was for us to move from our homestate of New Jersey to a gated community […]
Right Before
Isn’t it weird to look back on the week before their passing? Depending on the circumstances of their death, that week has a kaleidoscope of events across our widowhoods. For us, life was thrumming along. Spring was coming but the last dregs of winter were holding on. Kids sports were getting ready to hit full […]
Static
I was trying to do some clean up on my iPhone … you know, things like deleting apps I no longer use, deleting text messages, deleting old voice mails. I was going along just fine until I hit the voicemails and realized there were like 600 of them saved. Then I realized that iPhone actually […]
Identity Theft 🪪
Victim of Identity Theft 👤 Not the kind where creeps take your Social Security number, name and address and try to impersonate you with American Express 💳. But the kind that happens after your person dies. The kind that strips you of everything that made you, you. I have a feeling you know where I’m […]
This Is Me
I have a tonnn of songs in my “Grief Songs” Playlist – a carefully curated list of songs accumulated over the past 11 years of songs that are about grief, help me have “a good cry” (I am now at a place in my journey that I can schedule these “good cry’s” at a “convenient” […]