Two years ago today, my mom passed in New York while I was enroute to see her from Florida. She’d suffered a stroke three months earlier in November, just seven months after the passing of my father. She passed peacefully in the presence of family.
She also passed knowing of the “bold” move from my gated community to the rural totally ungated region of Old Florida, and although she wanted to come and visit me, her health issues and age, made that not ultimately no possible. Hard to believe she would have reached 100 years of age this October.
She had come to spend time with me in Georgia after Rich’s passing, spent some time over the border in Florida and then asked if she could return north soon after the passing of my dad. Although she really wanted to go back to New Jersey, her beloved home had been sold and it wasn’t the same place where she’d made so many special memories raising her family.
Currently, Aleli, the girlfriend of my late nephew, Zac, is visiting me from Mexico. It’s so good to have a visitor who knew my family and Rich. She has visited me in my home at the Jersey Shore, in Georgia and now my homes here in Florida.
The week before last, I met up with two “old” friends from New Jersey and I will do so again with another soon. I find these visits with long time friends so beneficial and will try to make that a larger part of my year in 2026. Those connections are the strongest and the closest I can get to being home in the truest sense. With so many of my family core gone, all of these seasoned connections take on a deeper meaning.
Aleli noticed how my log home here in Florida is a more rustic and remote version of my home in New Jersey and I admitted that thought had occurred to me as well. She also sensed the presence of my mom when she stepped inside its front door and I told her that when I spent time in a certain corner of the kitchen, I felt like I was back in the my childhood home in Hackensack for some comforting reason.
We talked about Zac, Rich, and my parents sharing a lot of good memories and laughs. In my mind I keep imagining that she’d met my sister, Manette, Zac’s mom, but Manette had passed before Aleli had met Zac. Now, with mostly everyone in my family gone, it’s nice to have someone here who knew them and who also understands the unique grief following the loss of a partner. It doesn’t matter if someone is married, engaged or in a longterm relationship, the magnitude of the loss is the same and has no timeline.
My house in Georgia is now officially on the market and I look forward to that chapter drawing to a close. I realize it was a stepping stone in my path taking me to my current rural location. Whenever anyone finds their way here, they remark on how much farmland and wooded areas remain. I hope they do for a long time.
This weekend, as the Winter Olympic Games draw to a close, I know that if still here, my mom and Manette would be so proud to have seen Alysa Liu receive her history-making Gold Medal for Ladies Figure Skating, something that hasn’t happened for twenty years. My sister and I were skaters and we loved to watch the Winter Games and comment on each skater’s program.
I love Alysa’s attitude and approach. At only 20 years-of-age, Alysa gives off a vibe like she’s just going to a High School dance instead of competing in one of the most pressure-filled competitive events for an athlete. Already a prominent star in the figure skating world, Alysa left the sport because she felt she had lost her passion for it. When the time was right, she returned to the ice and found herself with an Olympic Gold Medal not long after.
Alysa’s style, approach and personal mettle allows her to cope with challenging situations with resilience. That has surprisingly encouraged me to try to incorporate some of that joy and purpose in my own life and creative projects. That is the upside of athletics and sports, also instilled in me by my father who was an athletic coach. It also reminds me of my skating days and the encouragement of my mom as she sacrificed her own time and needs to ensure my sister and I got our place on the ice, and later our place in the sun, too.
