Lynn was born in Providence, Rhode Island, into a large Italian family, with heavy Massachusetts / New England accents, were devout Catholics and Red Sox fans, and – New England Patriots fans. I just came from my friends’ annual 2026 Super Bowl party, where the Patriots played (and lost horribly to) the Seahawks. I was texting with Lynn’s siblings during the game, wondering if their parents and Lynn were sitting this game out, and not helping at all with the Pats’ playing?! Her brother commented (probably accurately) that their Dad was distracting both Lynn and her Mom, as was his “Italian dad sense of humor.”
It feels natural to joke about them like this, now. This is the Patriots’ 5th appearance (’15, ’17, ’18, & ’19 previously )in the Super Bowl since Lynn passed in late 2014. Their first appearance was in 2015 – shortly after Lynn passed. It was more heartbreaking than joyful to celebrate and watch them win without Lynn. Each year they played again was bittersweet, though over time, the sweet would outweigh the bitter just a little bit. This year was no different. I am frequently asked why I am a loyal Patriots fan. ( I am first and foremost a born and raised 49ers fan, but the Pats are my second team since getting together with Lynn.) I would always explain, “My late partner, Lynn, and her family are from New England.” Then later, I would say, “My in-laws are from Rhode Island / Massachusetts.” Nowadays I usually just say, “I have family from there.” These are subtle but significant changes in the words I choose. I think that perhaps, one reason might be, Lynn’s family has greatly become “my family,” versus “only” Lynn’s family. We have established our own relationships. By now, I may have gone out to New England as many times without Lynn as I have with her. Also, Lynn is most definitely MY FAMILY, so it makes sense to refer to her as family, versus always “my late partner.” Also, I suppose I do not need that identifier or description for myself like I used to. And to be honest, I do not want to “shock” anyone who may not know, and when asked, say she passed 11 years ago, and then receive the look of “that was a very long time ago, you know…”
So, I had a great time, despite a really horrible Patriots loss, and then, the beautiful song “Good Riddance” by Green Day came on the radio. Listening to it, I reflected on how it felt normal to wonder what Lynn thought of the game, and to know she was stressed out and trying to combat New England fans’ superstitions regarding how what they do / don’t do somehow affects the outcome of the game (?!?!). Weirdly, it felt completely okay and natural to be watching the game in two different places. The song ALWAYS makes me tear up, but for the first time that I have heard it since Lynn passed, I actually felt the joy of having gotten to experience all the Patriots (and 49ers games) that we DID get to watch together – including two Super Bowls (2008 and 2012) before she passed. After all this time, it is still a process at times to remember to sit in the GRATITUDE of having gotten to spend every minute I did with her. I STILL feel like the luckiest person in the world.
“Good Riddance” by Green Day (1997)
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end, it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories, and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end, it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end, it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end, it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
