Tuesday 5.26.26 šļø I went on my first date since my husband died. It came with all of it. All the feelings. I was really excited and proud of myself for choosing to do it and heartbroken all over again that I had to. It was coffee with a tall and handsome guy who approached […]
Widowed Memories
Checking an Item Off the To Do List after 11.5 years
11.5 years after Lynn passed, I (finally) switched my home’s water bill from her name to my name. Normal?! Ehhh, I thought it was pretty nuts that it took me this long. This un-fun task was never on my “urgent do now” list. In the back of my mind, I thought THAT was the strange […]
Memories … I have a few
āSeparation is an illusion. Though your loved ones are not physically with you, they are with you spiritually and energetically. They live in you and through you. They are ever with you, as close as your breath. When you are overwhelmed with missing their āformā, remember that their essence is woven into the fabric of […]
Milestones and Memories
Memorial Day marks the official start of summer here. The kids had their last day of school last week. I now have a senior, a freshman, and a seventh grader. Watching the kids grow is a milestone against which I sometimes compare the passage of time since Tonyās death. Itās already mind bending to realize […]
Out of the Blue
Out of the blue, I received a text message from Joeās wife, Katie.Ā Regular readers know that Joe is Leeās nephew. Joe, Katie, and their two children, Allie and Dean, now live in Grand Rapids, Michigan.Ā It had been at least one year, probably more, since I last saw or heard from them. Katie wanted […]
The Thrill is NOT gone
So, last night Steve and I went to a large theater to hear a performance by āRodrigo Y Gabriela,ā the married couple who have been popularizing the venerable style of guitar called flamenco.Ā Until late last week, I had no idea who these musicians were or what they sounded like, despite having a Grammy to […]
Mother’s Day with Boys
Another Motherās Day has come and gone; six to be exact since Tony died. It is still weird to wake up on a day like Motherās Day without him. I always take myself back in time to the last one he was alive for. He and the boys picked up the house, emptied the dishwasher, […]
The Saying “You Marry Your Mother”
There is a saying “you marry your mother / father,” which suggests that people often subconsciously choose a partner with similar temperaments, traits, behaviors, etc as their parents. A few years into my and Lynn’s relationship, I remember thinking this saying seemed to be true for me. This Mother’s Day, I am remembering the ways […]
What do Cinco de Mayo š²š½ and Mother’s Day š have in common?
Nothing, except everything. Yesterday, May 5th, the grief hit me out of nowhere, yet not entirely unexpectedly.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā We loved turning nothing into something, any excuse into a celebration. Take Cinco de Mayo, for instance. Not Mexican Independence Day š²š½ and not a widely celebrated holiday in Mexico, but after nearly 30 years […]
Ya gotta feel all the feelings
ā¦ and Iāve sure been doing a lot of āfeelingā lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just donāt have the energy to āpeopleā ā to put on that happy face for others. I have a […]
Alternate Routes
It was an eventful week filled with emotional milestones. I spent most of the week up in Georgia again to ready my home for a new tenant. As Iāve shared previously, I put my house up for sale two months ago and in doing so, invested considerable energy and funds to make it shine. I […]
For Better or For Worse
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jimās bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadnāt yet taken the time to sort through all of it. I love Irisā words: āWe made a commitment ā¦ and although itās not easy, this is all part […]