For the first time since Tony died, I found myself in town for New Years Eve. I have spent the last four years ringing in the new year anywhere but home. Part of me was dreading being here with all the couples I’m friends with when the clock struck midnight. The unknown of how it […]
Widowed Memories
Unexpected Havens
Writing this in Real Time early New Year’s Day. At precisely 12:01am, I experienced a deep sense of relief that 2025 had concluded softly without the loss of an immediate family member. I lost Rich in late 2021, my nephew who was the son of my late sister in May 2022 and my father and […]
Every Day is a Holiday
There are literally 45 minutes remaining in Christmas Day 2025 as I begin to write this post. Having just spent time on a variety of sites for the widowed on Social Media, many commenters were counting down the minutes and hours for the day to be over. Many more relayed how they’d dreaded the days […]
My First Christmas …
… without Jim. And there won’t be any decorations or a tree or any cards and gifts sent. I just can’t do any of that this year. It’s hard to get into the holiday spirit when you’re missing your husband. The Christmas tree is such a big undertaking, full of memories, and the other things […]
Pages of Grief
Last night I finished the book Maame by Jessica George. (Warning: Spoilers ahead if it’s on your To Be Read list.) The book follows Maddie, who is trying to find herself at 25 when her father dies from complications related to Parkinsons. She is at an age where she is working through finding a career […]
Visiting Cemeteries
I am currently in the Philippines, visiting with family for the holidays. We are from a small mountain town, where both my parents’ families have lived for generations. My Mom, who passed away 2.5 years ago, is here in our family mausoleum. Even when I was a child visiting “home,” going to the cemetery was […]
Holiday Adaptations
This week I spent some time in my former residence in St. Marys, Georgia. With its recent tenants moved out, I haven’t spent much time in that house for the last two years. With a new development currently being constructed literally in my own backyard, the woods that once lined that property have been replaced […]
The Joys of Home Ownership
Mario and I purchased our house (I’ll probably always call it “our” house) back in 2007. After looking at many different houses, this one stood out and we made an offer as soon as we saw it. Through a series of “perfect timing” type of events, we closed on the house within 30 days. I […]
Sign, Sign. Everywhere a Sign
Do you believe we can receive signs from our loved ones? I do. Some may say I’m doing a bit of reaching on this. Maybe. But if we can find something – anything – that helps us navigate through our loss, to help ease some of the pain, then why not grab it? After Vern […]
Funeral Attendance
Today I went to a funeral for friend whose mom passed away. I have known this friend since high school, and I think I even crashed on the couch in their basement once. I know some people avoid almost all future funerals after losing their partner. Admittedly, some of them are easier to sit through […]
Holiday Traditions Evolving
“Fun” fact – Lynn and I never spent a Christmas together in the 10 years we were together on Earth. Her family lived in Tennessee, and mine lived in the same town we lived. We both had big families we were close to, with lots of nieces and nephews. We both wanted to spend the […]
Flashbacks
It’s weird how a flash of seemingly nothing can transport you back in time. One minute I’m running errands, crossing off my mental to do list, and the next I’m back in 2021. I don’t even know what prompted it. It could have been anything though; a song on the radio, a task he used […]