Last night I finished the book Maame by Jessica George. (Warning: Spoilers ahead if it’s on your To Be Read list.)
The book follows Maddie, who is trying to find herself at 25 when her father dies from complications related to Parkinsons. She is at an age where she is working through finding a career path, forging friendships, navigating expectations as a daughter in a first-generation immigrant family, and a life outside of her childhood home. In between all of that her dad dies.
I read as Maddie struggles through regret, anger, self-worth, unspent love, and loneliness. Emotions we all feel but are exemplified in grief. Here are 2 quick excerpts that stuck with me:
When she was talking with her friend about the regret she was carrying:
“…the regret is eating at me. I’ve never suffered such an irreversible regret before, a regret with no silver lining, and it makes me want to block out any noise or thoughts and it pulls me down until I’m heave and tired from doing nothing other than attempting to avoid how I feel.”
This is from someone giving her advice about trying to life after the death of a loved one:
“But you’re not supposed to ‘get over’ someone dying, he says. Especially someone you loved, and your feelings of guilt may not be justified, but they are natural. Thing is, you don’t ever go back Maddie, to life before, and my advice is to accept that. To accept that you’re not the same person you were when your dad was alive and you can’t be again. Accept that your life is different now because of this monumental, irreversible change and that it’s okay to feel guilty one day and indescribable happiness another. This is life now, he says. This is how you live.”
As I read, I just knew this author must have lost someone close to her. I could not imagine someone being able to encapsulate the range of emotions without experiencing loss in real life. I always skim the acknowledgement pages when I finish a book. It’s interesting to find out how the author came to the subject matter. Sure enough, Jessica George thanks her father and the opportunity to immortalize their memories in ink.
Once again, art imitates life. While I don’t want to read a book centered around death for every pick, I do enjoy finding an author who gets it.
