I still don’t know if I am going to put up even a fraction of the massive amount of XMas decorations I have… Lynn came into our relationship with bins and bins of XMas decorations, a set and a half of a Dept 56 XMas Village, and all the Santa themed items under the sun. […]
Widowed Memories
Moving Parts
As we are just about through the first week of December, I realize that this is the third Christmas spent here in Old Florida. For those who may not know, I moved here two years after the passing of my husband, Rich. I was content in the home in Southeast Georgia that Rich and I […]
The Widowed
Wedding rings on or off. Belief in an after-life, or not. Belief that our person is near, or fiercely shouting “No! They are gone!” Some of us move quickly toward another relationship to fill the void. Some of us believe they are present in a new way and hang with them daily through […]
The Last Thanksgiving
(Reposting from 2023, since every Thanksgiving I can’t help but this of this last one with Mario. Actual Thanksgiving this year I just spent a few hours with my mom and had leftovers from the Friendsgiving spread I did on Wednesday.) Trigger alerts for: addiction, depression, and bitter sweet holiday memories. The last Thanksgiving that […]
Old Messages on Messenger
For no particular reason, I looked up Lynn and my conversation in my Messenger app. Honestly, I did not think we had ever messaged on Messenger, but indeed we had! Her first message to me was on August 12, 2009, and said “to see how this works.” There is only a small handful of random […]
A Glimpse of June
In a Rainy November There are days when you just don’t have a post in you. On those days (like today) I pick an old post and feature it as a placeholder until my spirit revives itself. Here’s to beauty in the middle of rainy days from a post this past Summer. xo Where […]
Grief in Poetry
I was doing a little doom scrolling today and stumbled on a video that cut me to the quick. In the best and worst way, because that’s how grief works. The video was taken at the Happy Place Festival in the UK in August. It’s raining and a rainbow of streamers that decorate a tent […]
Give Up My Personal History?
I listened to a Dr. Wayne Dyer YouTube video (part of it) where he quotes Carlos Casteneda saying something along the lines of no longer needing / giving up your personal history. And, if you no longer have a personal history, you no longer have to live up to it. Hearing that freaked me out, […]
Season of Fall
Season of Dying “In Asian mysticism and Chinese medicine, Autumn is considered the season of Grief. While summer is associated with the emotion of joy, autumn is associated with both courage and sadness. If you are grieving, you can probably feel the truth of that association for yourself, because, in Autumn, things are dying.” — […]
Grief Does Not Take A Vacation During Vacation
It never fails to bum me out that I cannot / am no longer obligated to call my Mom when I am leaving for a trip, arrive at the first and subsequent destinations, and call her at least every couple days. She did not use a cell phone, so it always had to be a […]
Northern Climbs
Last weekend I had an inspirational visit to New England, the origin of my late father’s family, of French Canadian descent. As a kid, most holidays found my family loading up the car for another trek from New Jersey to Massachusettes where my siblings and I made fun of the accents of 42 our first […]
In Praise of Tears
An Ode to Weeping Alone in my bed the other night, I wept. It surprised me. I let my tears fall without holding back. In six months, Dan will be gone five years. Those walking the path of grief understand the weird way our bodies know how to “tell time” and set our hearts into […]