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EMDR

This Carrying~

April 6, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

A dear friend and Air Force widow sister said to me last weekend, in response to my endless questions to her about this grief (she’s 6 years out), and time frames and, oh, you know, everything…she said this to me, and I’ve reflected on it in the days since. It isn’t that it goes away. We just get stronger, and we carry it differently.Such…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Therapy, Miscellaneous Tagged With: PinkMagic, EMDR, sugar addiction, therapy, widow, on the road, husband, wings, counseling, Odyssey of Love

The Good, Bad, Ugly, and Everything in Between~

March 23, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

This is a list. Not a gratitude list necessarily, but a list that does include some good shit, nonetheless. And sometimes it’s easier to write in list form than prose form.  This past weekend I had a massive, huge, meltdown/purge/nervous breakdown. Included were earthquake size shakes throughout my body, shallow breathing, sobbing, gut-wrenching…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Therapy, Miscellaneous Tagged With: counseling, Odyssey of Love, PinkMagic, EMDR, sugar addiction, therapy, widow, on the road, husband, wings

The Pulse Beat of Love Over Everything Else~

March 16, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

I have to remind myself, as many of us do, I expect, that this widowhood is, as I learned in AA, a matter of progress, not perfection. Because I, for one, consistently seem to expect more of myself than is realistic. By which I mean, I continually scan my body and mind and heart to see where I am in this grief and why I’m not further along, even…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous Tagged With: grief, widowhood, Daughter, husband, wife, rage, EMDR, hospice, family, therapy, love

This Seemingly Never-ending Road~

March 9, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

Is it just me?  I wonder, even as I know it isn’t just me.  Logically and because I literally know otherwise, it isn’t just me.   There’s a boat load of men and women through time immemorial who have lived this shit that I’m living, that we’re all living. And yet, my brain doesn’t let up about it.Why are you still so traumatized, Alison?…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous Tagged With: hospice, tapping, TRE, therapy, widow, grief, husband, trauma, chapter 2, EMDR

Just Dance. Just Drive. Just Talk and Just Be.

February 17, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

In no time at all, I’ll be going back on the road.  Launch date:  May 1 at the latest. My intention is to stay out on the road this time.  I’ll visit friends and family, but will stay in my [email protected] Teardrop, PinkMagic, primarily.  I’ve missed the coziness of her, the cocoon that she is to me.This time in Arizona has been what I needed it to…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous Tagged With: cancer, Odyssey of Love, EMDR, tapping, TRE, FWG, burlesque, counseling support, widow, pink, grief, husband

The Never-Ending Dance~

February 3, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

It is commonly understood, or acknowledged, that there is time and possibility for goodbyes when a person is terminally ill, as opposed to when there is a sudden death. I used to believe that.Yes, the words might be whispered from one to the other on a deathbed, or they might be breathed into the ears of the one you love as your hands clasp, but…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous Tagged With: letting go, widow, alison miller, grief, goodbyes, EMDR, hospice, tapping

The Lovely Dance of Grief~

January 27, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

Tuesdays used to be only about writing my WV blog.  Now they’re also about my EMDR sessions, so please bear with me as my brain and heart work overtime.Who knew that guilt could beat so strongly in me?  Me, who loved my husband Chuck dearly, me who showed that love to him continually?  He knew I loved him and told me frequently how much that…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous Tagged With: EMDR, hospice, therapy, love, widowhood, guilt, husband

Holding on Tightly~

January 20, 2016 by Alison Miller Leave a Comment

In my heart, I’m carrying all the trauma from those 3 weeks when I went into auto pilot, (as we all do at such a time). Those 3 weeks where I was as present as could be to the best of my abilities as he and I said our goodbyes and my heart broke into pieces that were so huge and so small that they became invisible shards, but 3 weeks where I…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Illness Tagged With: trauma, EMDR, hospice, widow, hope, struggle

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