Why Speak of Them? Does it matter? As a widow of nearly four years, I wonder how many widowed people just tough-it-out and don’t reach out for help during their early days of widowhood. Or, perhaps they do, but they keep it private. It is possible to have professional grief therapy, counseling, or pastoral care […]
memories
What is Story?
How does story impact grief? The personal narrative of our life, often called Our Story, belongs to only us. Others may have shared life with us, but our perspective and interpretation is ours alone. We humans are meaning-makers and our mind is geared to make conclusions about the problems, pleasures, and predicaments we face over […]
Once Again
I Forgot You Left It was last Saturday night I was struggling with a writing goal a story that felt slightly out of reach Called a friend Drum she said I drummed for a time felt sleepy and went to bed at 6pm Awoke at 9:30pm but fell asleep again Awoke at […]
I Was Slain
by Joe Black The movie Meet Joe Black was made in the 90’s when it’s star, Brad Pitt, was only 34 years old. I’d seen the film once, but clearly did not recognize the deeper meanings. This time I was overcome by its layers of goodness. Why would an old film affect me so strongly? […]
Trusting Me
Which part of me do I trust? This is me in grief’s low spaces. Grief stricken. Broken. Vulnerable to pain. Feeling useless. What good is a broken bridge? Can I trust the broken parts of me? This is me in grief’s growing places. Evidence of my brokenness is visible. Yet I […]
Camp Widow:
A Fine Champagne On the Move A mere 77,999 days ago a widow changed the face of widowhood. Madame Clicquot, known as the “Grande Dame of Champagne” was a French Champagne producer. She took on her husband’s wine business when widowed at 27. Under her ownership, and her skill with wine, the company developed early […]
It’s Time
Another death anniversary passed in April and here we are already in July. It’s time to honor our fifty-fith wedding anniversary coming up tomorrow. It is the privilege of a lifetime is to live, tell, and record the stories of our lives, Dan Neff. It is love on love on more love. […]
Following Father’s Day
Here you are on display so many years after the fact. Having been only four tiny pounds yourself, you grew larger than life. You had the strength to be immutable and the grace to be tender. Tough and Tender. A combination for life. Seeing this photo undoes me. Missing […]
Comparing Grief Confessions
[today’s view in contrast to 166+ days out . . .] Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. [it is now 1,126 days since he left . . .] The clock ticks on as I write, rendering the time estimate incorrect seconds after […]
Traveling in the Land of Grief
Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary milestone, just days away, it was bittersweet reading this post from the beginning of my journey. I hope […]
Sleep Remedy
Up at night? What to do? Stare at the ceiling? Worry? Go online? Or try something new . . . A stream of consciousness writing exercise called Writing Practice. Created by a writing teacher for those who love to write but don’t know what to write about. Here’s how it works […]
What is Grief?
One Person’s Take GRIEF I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I’m learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather there […]