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widower with children

Serenity

February 6, 2020 by Jeff Ziegler 2 Comments

Jeff 62

In the wake of Suzanne dying, I struggled to find true peace. How did others do it, I wondered? Some turn to “god”, religion, etc. Others turn to self-medicating (drugs, alcohol, etc.). Some find it in more unconventional ways. I finally fell into the last category. When Suzanne died, my whole world shattered. The girls suffered. Her parents…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing Tagged With: widower, widowed dad, widower with children, widowed finding happiness again, solitude, serenity

Hummingbirds

January 30, 2020 by Jeff Ziegler Leave a Comment

Hummingbirds

In most other languages, the onomatopoeia that we use to describe these birds does not exist. We call them hummingbirds because, like flip flops and ping pong, it describes the noise made rather than the name of the thing itself. The word most other languages use instead is “Colibri”. This is significant for two reasons. One, I find the word more…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Signs from Loved One Tagged With: widowed signs from our loved ones, widowed dad, widower with children, widower

Taking Things for Granted Replay

January 16, 2020 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

With Mari’s departure on Thursdays, we’ll be featuring repeats from Mike’s posts over the years.  Enjoy this piece, originally written in 2016.   You don’t realize how important the little things are until you don’t have them.  It could be something as simple as sitting on the couch, watching TV until you fall asleep with your partner, and…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Birthdays Tagged With: widower, birthdays, widower with children, Silver Linings

H O P E

November 6, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

This past weekend, Sarah and I traveled to Toronto to attend our third Camp Widow there.  We’ve both realized that Camp Widow recharges us. Though we may not be in the active throes of grief on a daily basis, with Megan’s death four years ago, and Drew’s six, there is something about telling our stories, and hearing others’ that brings a…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Miscellaneous Tagged With: hope, Mike Welker, love, widower with children, help, Home, Courage, wisdom, widower, Opportunity, camp widow, sarah treanor

A Real Page Turner

October 23, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

I’m 38 today.  Eight years since 30, 2 years until 40.  Is it supposed to be surreal? Am I truly supposed to feel like I’m getting older?  I guess I’m considered middle-aged, or “getting up in the years”.  But, do I feet like I’m anywhere near the end of the story? I don’t.  I don’t feel old or long in the tooth.  Sure, my back…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Miscellaneous Tagged With: Chapter, widower, memories, metaphor, Mike Welker, widower with children, life, Experience, Book

Overdrive

October 16, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

For those of you not aware of what “overdrive” is in a car, I’ll try to simply explain it.  Overdrive is a gear in the transmission that is less than a 1:1 ratio with the engine. Effectively, the wheels turn faster than the motor. It’s great for cruising at higher speeds.  The engine doesn’t have to work as hard, so it’s a more…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: Metaphors, changes, Anticipation, widower, Stress, Mike Welker, widower with children, cars

Trigger Tropes

October 9, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

I don’t have much to say today, other than a reminder (and perhaps, a warning to those of you reading that are still in the raw, early stages of your grief) that triggers can appear anywhere at random, no matter how “far out” you may think you are. We’re never truly “free” from our grief.  It may fade, in a way. We evolve and learn to…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous Tagged With: Mike Welker, widower with children, grief, time, movies, triggers, hospital, TV, widower, media, memories, medical, Long Term Illness

Revolution 34

September 25, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

If many of my posts sound like a broken record, it’s because they are.  For those of you old enough to remember, the slightest scratch on a vinyl album could stop the music in its literal track and replace it with two seconds of repeating sounds.  It was aggravating when it happened. You could hope that it was just a blip. A speck of dust or an…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous Tagged With: Metaphors, Music, imperfection, next chapter, widower, memories, Long Term Illness, Mike Welker, widower with children

Drafted into Challenge

September 18, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

20 years ago, I woke up to a screaming drill instructor, chaos, mind games, and effectively running everywhere I went.  I lived in a green uniform, seeing no other colors but black, green, and brown for months. I swam in 10 foot deep water with 120 pounds of gear, went 3 days and 48 miles of marching on 4 hours of total sleep (and one meal).  I…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness Tagged With: Mike Welker, widower with children, grief, Mourning, military, Cystic Fibrosis, challenge, difficulty, widower, Long Term Illness

Patriot’s Day

September 11, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Seventeen years ago, today, I was driving back from the base medical office to my shop after receiving some vaccines.  It was a beautiful morning in North Carolina. Slightly on the muggy side, but the sun was shining and the temperature was perfect.   As was common at the time, I tuned to Howard Stern on the radio, and after a few minutes, he…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Miscellaneous Tagged With: widower, Mike Welker, widower with children, Remembrance, September 11, Patriot Day, Veteran, Terminology

Widow’s Roast

August 28, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

How about something a little light hearted?  Instead of writing morosely and trying to explain metaphors, I’ll look around the room and just take stock of where I am, nearing 4 years since Megan’s death?  I don’t feel like “finding meaning” today. Not every day has to have “meaning” when it comes to widowerhood. Sometimes, funny…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Illness Tagged With: widower, Long Term Illness, Mike Welker, widower with children, writing, Humor, widows voice, sarcasm

Taking the Lead

August 21, 2018 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

There were so many reasons for Megan to be proud of Shelby.  From her sheer intelligence, to her love for reading, to even her quirky weirdness.  She appreciated that Shelby had a love for nature, at least tiny animals and flowers.  We would take Shelby camping at least once a year, but due to Megan’s condition, that was the limit. We took one…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Therapy, Miscellaneous Tagged With: growing up, Pride, Leadership, confidence, widower, decisiveness, Mike Welker, widower with children, Metaphors, kids, Nature, Hiking

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