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widowed dad

Widening the Gap

February 9, 2020 by Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker 1 Comment

This past week, Sarah and I marked our five-year anniversary as two widows, together in a relationship.  Meeting at Camp Widow in 2015, we found ourselves just simply “connected” somehow…so much so that we were actually asked if we were siblings at one point that weekend. But, this isn’t a story of how we met, or even of the five years…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones Tagged With: widowhood and moving forward, memories, widowed parenting, widowed dad, widowed new love, widowhood and traditions, widowhood and wedding anniversaries, widowed guilt, dating, widower, milestones

Serenity

February 6, 2020 by Jeff Ziegler 2 Comments

Jeff 62

In the wake of Suzanne dying, I struggled to find true peace. How did others do it, I wondered? Some turn to “god”, religion, etc. Others turn to self-medicating (drugs, alcohol, etc.). Some find it in more unconventional ways. I finally fell into the last category. When Suzanne died, my whole world shattered. The girls suffered. Her parents…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing Tagged With: widowed dad, widower with children, widowed finding happiness again, solitude, serenity, widower

Hummingbirds

January 30, 2020 by Jeff Ziegler Leave a Comment

Hummingbirds

In most other languages, the onomatopoeia that we use to describe these birds does not exist. We call them hummingbirds because, like flip flops and ping pong, it describes the noise made rather than the name of the thing itself. The word most other languages use instead is “Colibri”. This is significant for two reasons. One, I find the word more…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Signs from Loved One Tagged With: widower, widowed signs from our loved ones, widowed dad, widower with children

Knowing Ahead

January 5, 2020 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

The holiday season is over.  Starting in early November, every year, I begin pondering Megan’s death at an elevated rate, leading up to the anniversary of it.  With Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day all occurring in the weeks just after, it’s two months of absolute stress, that nobody seems to understand, including myself.  My…

Filed Under: Widowed Parenting, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: widowhood and traditions, widowed depression, widowed anger, widowed grief triggers, widowed holidays, widower, remarried widow, milestones, anxiety, widowhood and moving forward, widowed parenting, widowed dad, widowed new love, widowed death anniversary

A Christmas to Remember

December 15, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

You would think that becoming widowed just before the holiday season could make said holidays an overbearing mixture of grief, stress, and memories going forward.  That remembering that first Christmas without Megan, watching a seven-year-old Shelby bounding down the stairs to a room in which her father was already bawling, would not be the ideal…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: widowhood and moving forward, memories, widowed parenting, widowed dad, widowed death anniversary, widowhood and traditions, widowed holidays, widowed guilt, widower, anxiety, sadness

Window to Grieve

November 17, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

One week ago, we wrapped up what was easily the busiest Camp Widow I’ve ever taken part in.  In two days, it will be the five year anniversary of Megan’s death. Winter has blown into northeast Ohio early this year, with our first snow coming in before the leaves had even had the chance to fall off of the trees.  The holidays will be here…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community Tagged With: widowed dad, widowed death anniversary, widowed guilt, camp widow, widowed grief triggers, widower, milestones, sadness, widowhood and moving forward

Caretaker

November 3, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

I’ve always felt that, 5 years after Megan’s death, I wouldn’t feel like a widow anymore.  Not counting those first few months, when I swore up and down that my life was over and that I would never, ever move forward or be able to love again, I consider myself very realistic.  I have a stable career. Shelby is and always has been…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed Community Tagged With: hope for widowed, widower, widowed signs from our loved ones, healing for widowed, widowhood and moving forward, widowed dad, widowed community, camp widow

Morbid Advantage

September 22, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Today is Sarah’s birthday.  Not Megan’s, not Drew’s. It’s not Mother or Father’s day, or an anniversary.  It’s a day where the focus is squarely on her, and not shared with those who are no longer here.  Or, at least it’s not supposed to be.   The rub of it is that I’m a widower.  Sarah’s a widow. Damn near every experience…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: envy and widowhood, widowed holidays, widowed guilt, widowed fears, birthdays, widowed grief triggers, dating, widower, milestones, widowhood and moving forward, memories, widowed dad, widowed new love

Hello Goodbye

August 27, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Since the spring of 2015, I have written here every Tuesday (well, “most” every Tuesday).  I’ve shared my story from just a few months after losing Megan, to now. Having four plus years of what can only amount to a public “journal” has been both surreal and incredibly healing.   Oftentimes, it’s hard to recall just how “raw” I…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Community Tagged With: dating, camp widow, widower, milestones, healing for widowed, widowhood and moving forward, widowed parenting, widowed dad, widowed new love

Brussels Sprouts and Roller Coasters

August 20, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Just yesterday, Sarah and I surprised Shelby (and my nephew) with a trip to Cedar Point, one of the premier amusement parks in the world, just two hours from our home here in Ohio.  Shelby has been asking to go back for years now, having only been once, when she was around 5 years old, with Megan and I. She was far too young to ride anything more…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: anxiety, widowed parenting, widowed dad, widowed fears, widower, milestones

Blinders

August 13, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Though Shelby started middle school last year, entering the 6th grade, the jump into 7th is more significant to me.  In my own schooling, the seventh grade is when I was no longer an “elementary” student. I moved on to a new school, new friends, changing classrooms, more advanced subjects, and so on. Shelby is doing the same this year.  Not…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: widowed parenting, widowed dad, widowed new love, family, widowed grief triggers, widower, milestones, widowhood and moving forward

Semiversary

August 6, 2019 by Mike Welker Leave a Comment

I wish I could have sat down to write this morning and repeated my often-stated sentiment that I don’t have anything to write about…and that’s OK.  I had hoped that today, of all days, is something that doesn’t affect me as much any more, because “time” and all. Even if I thought about Megan more today, it wouldn’t throw my day off…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness Tagged With: widowed grief triggers, widower, milestones, memories, Long Term Illness, widowed dad, widowed holidays, widowhood and wedding anniversaries

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