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Mike Welker

About Mike Welker

Three months after my discharge from the Marine Corps, at 22 years old, I met my wife Megan, on December 10th, 2002. The very next day, I was drawn like a moth to a flame into dealing with a long term, terminal illness. Megan had Cystic Fibrosis, and after 8 years or declining health, she received a double lung transplant, and a new lease o life. Our daughter Shelby was born in 2007. In early 2014, those recycled lungs, which had brought our little family three years of uncomplicated health and happiness, finally began to give out. She died from chronic organ transplant rejection on November 19th, 2014 while I held her hand and let her go. I'm a single father and widower at 34 years old, and no one has published a manual for it. I don't fit the mold, because there is no mold. I "deal with it" through morbid humor, inappropriateness, anger, and the general vulgarity of the 22 year old me, as if I never grew up, but temper it with focus on raising a tenacious, smart, and strong woman in Shelby. I try to live as if Megan is still here with us, giving me that sarcastic stare because yet again, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

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Taking Things for Granted Replay

Posted on: January 16, 2020 | Posted by: Mike Welker

With Mari’s departure on Thursdays, we’ll be featuring repeats from Mike’s posts over the years.  Enjoy this piece, originally written in 2016.   You don’t realize how important the little things are until you don’t have them.  It could be something as simple as sitting on the couch, watching TV until you fall asleep with your partner, and…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Birthdays

Knowing Ahead

Posted on: January 5, 2020 | Posted by: Mike Welker

The holiday season is over.  Starting in early November, every year, I begin pondering Megan’s death at an elevated rate, leading up to the anniversary of it.  With Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day all occurring in the weeks just after, it’s two months of absolute stress, that nobody seems to understand, including myself.  My…

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

A Christmas to Remember

Posted on: December 15, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

You would think that becoming widowed just before the holiday season could make said holidays an overbearing mixture of grief, stress, and memories going forward.  That remembering that first Christmas without Megan, watching a seven-year-old Shelby bounding down the stairs to a room in which her father was already bawling, would not be the ideal…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions

Window to Grieve

Posted on: November 17, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

One week ago, we wrapped up what was easily the busiest Camp Widow I’ve ever taken part in.  In two days, it will be the five year anniversary of Megan’s death. Winter has blown into northeast Ohio early this year, with our first snow coming in before the leaves had even had the chance to fall off of the trees.  The holidays will be here…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community

Caretaker

Posted on: November 3, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

I’ve always felt that, 5 years after Megan’s death, I wouldn’t feel like a widow anymore.  Not counting those first few months, when I swore up and down that my life was over and that I would never, ever move forward or be able to love again, I consider myself very realistic.  I have a stable career. Shelby is and always has been…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed Community

I Didn’t Die

Posted on: October 6, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

So, Sarah wrote last week about my leaving for a work trip.  It was the first time I have done so since we’ve met.  Sure, I’ve left for a day or two here and there to go backpacking, but being required by my job to board a jet to Chicago for three days is, quite obviously, a bit more of a trigger for her.  Especially when it’s a trigger…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous

Morbid Advantage

Posted on: September 22, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

Today is Sarah’s birthday.  Not Megan’s, not Drew’s. It’s not Mother or Father’s day, or an anniversary.  It’s a day where the focus is squarely on her, and not shared with those who are no longer here.  Or, at least it’s not supposed to be.   The rub of it is that I’m a widower.  Sarah’s a widow. Damn near every experience…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

Hello Goodbye

Posted on: August 27, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

Since the spring of 2015, I have written here every Tuesday (well, “most” every Tuesday).  I’ve shared my story from just a few months after losing Megan, to now. Having four plus years of what can only amount to a public “journal” has been both surreal and incredibly healing.   Oftentimes, it’s hard to recall just how “raw” I…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Community

Brussels Sprouts and Roller Coasters

Posted on: August 20, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

Just yesterday, Sarah and I surprised Shelby (and my nephew) with a trip to Cedar Point, one of the premier amusement parks in the world, just two hours from our home here in Ohio.  Shelby has been asking to go back for years now, having only been once, when she was around 5 years old, with Megan and I. She was far too young to ride anything more…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

Blinders

Posted on: August 13, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

Though Shelby started middle school last year, entering the 6th grade, the jump into 7th is more significant to me.  In my own schooling, the seventh grade is when I was no longer an “elementary” student. I moved on to a new school, new friends, changing classrooms, more advanced subjects, and so on. Shelby is doing the same this year.  Not…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

Semiversary

Posted on: August 6, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

I wish I could have sat down to write this morning and repeated my often-stated sentiment that I don’t have anything to write about…and that’s OK.  I had hoped that today, of all days, is something that doesn’t affect me as much any more, because “time” and all. Even if I thought about Megan more today, it wouldn’t throw my day off…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

Broken Dreams

Posted on: July 30, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

I don’t often dream.  Not the metaphorical “dream” or anything like that, just regular old dreams when I’m sleeping.  They just don’t happen. Even when they do, they seemingly are just five seconds of me sitting in my living room or something.  There isn’t anything crazy happening or odd traits like being able to fly. It’s plainly…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed by Illness

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