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Mike Welker

Coasting

Posted on: April 2, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

January is when Megan was first diagnosed with chronic organ transplant rejection.  February is Shelby’s birthday. May is Mother’s Day, June is when she was admitted to the hospital, never to come home again, July is her birthday, August is our anniversary, September is when the next year of school starts for Shelby, October is my birthday,…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

Self-Caretaking

Posted on: March 26, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

For much of my life, I have been what can best be described as “grumpy”.  I’ve tended to over-react and or see the worst in things, and myself. Something as simple as going to the grocery store brought out a part of me that only wanted to see the worst of humanity, followed by a reaction resembling anger, then followed by regret and shame at…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

Quality Time

Posted on: March 5, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

You may have noticed that last Tuesday, there was no post from me.  In short, we had a major power outage at my work, starting the Sunday prior, and being the only IT person, it fell to me keep the business running. I left home Sunday evening, towards the office, and I was there until 3 A.M. or so.  Then home for a few hours, then back to the…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions

Favorite Parent

Posted on: February 19, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

There was always a bit of competition between Megan and I as to who could be the “favorite” parent.  It was playful, obviously, but between the two of us, we were always trying to get the “better” birthday present for Shelby, or take her to the more memorable thing to do, or tell the funniest joke.  Whomever could make Shelby laugh harder…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Birthdays

Mom’s Pajamas

Posted on: February 12, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

Megan spent a lot of time in her pajamas.  It kind of came with the territory, spending so much time in the hospital.  When she was home, she often wasn’t nearly at 100%, so being in her pajamas was comfortable, warm, and easy.  If there was no need to been seen in public, she figured, why get all dressed up and ready? Pajamas made sense. She…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Signs from Loved One

Paradox

Posted on: February 5, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

Anniversaries are, in general, a prompt for looking back.  They’re an annual reminder to be reminded of the past. While oftentimes, an anniversary is also a milestone, it still remains that, simply put, an anniversary measures the passage of time.   They don’t really MEAN anything to widows.  Our person is neither more, nor less dead on…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Signs from Loved One

Whatever

Posted on: January 22, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to be feeling, now moving towards year 5 since Megan’s death.  Shelby is a preteen (and it certainly shows), and moves ever so closer to wanting to spend time with her friends versus us.  Her brother is married with a growing family of his own, with two sons that Megan never got to meet. One of our…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

Don’t Die

Posted on: January 15, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

“Don’t Die” It’s an instruction that Sarah has given to me as I walk out the door to work more times than I can count.  Sometimes, it’s fairly innocuous. Other times, it’s said with a fervent, if not pleading “PLEASE don’t die today”; usually after waking up from a particularly emotional dream. It’s not a “tic” or…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Illness

Risk Assessment

Posted on: January 8, 2019 | Posted by: Mike Welker

It has been almost a month since I last posted on here.  Sometimes, life can get in the way of all of our commitments to others.  Between the holidays, the busiest time of year at my work, travel, and budgets, sharing my weekly thoughts and anecdotes about life after becoming widowed took a significant back-burner. But the primary reason I…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones

Back to the Future

Posted on: December 11, 2018 | Posted by: Mike Welker

It’s been four years.  Four times, the earth has orbited the sun in full since Megan’s death.  That seems like an eternity, and yet at times, it also feels like it was yesterday.  It’s still “fresh”, yet also “routine”. If I could have foretold the future, four-and-a-half years ago, a few days before she died, it wouldn’t have…

Categories: Widowed, Newly Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

I’ll Not be Home for Christmas

Posted on: December 4, 2018 | Posted by: Mike Welker

In my 38 years, I have never once not been with my parents on either Christmas eve or Christmas day.  Even when I was in the military, I lucked out in that I wasn’t deployed over Christmas, and I was able to drive from North Carolina to Ohio, even if only for a 48 hour visit.  Since 2002, I’ve added Megan’s family to that tradition, always…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous

Just Do It

Posted on: November 27, 2018 | Posted by: Mike Welker

As I sat down to write this morning, as I usually do, I read a few of this previous week’s posts.  On a day like today, where my mind is somewhat blank, it often helps me to zero in on a subject. Once I have that nugget of inspiration, I can usually let it flow. This week, I’ve been inspired to write about something from a different side of…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

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