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widowhood and guilt

To Urn or Not to Urn

October 27, 2018 by Bryan Martin Leave a Comment

We still haven’t been able to put Clayton to rest. His mother’s stroke has resulted in her having to move near relatives and figure out a new life. Until then, Clayton sits in a (beautiful) Urn in our apartment. At first it was unsettling, having to look at a container that holds the dust of the person you want to hold the most. You want to…

Filed Under: Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed Tagged With: LGBTQ Widowed, bryan martin, widowed loneliness, widowhood and guilt

The Only and the Already

August 25, 2018 by Bryan Martin Leave a Comment

There are minutes, hours, days that seem to fly by while seconds seem to drag on forever. It has only and already been 4 months since Tin has passed – only and already. For those that don’t lose their “person”, it is hard to explain that time’s guidelines begin to bend in ways we never knew. Good days go fast. Bad days go slow. Yet the next…

Filed Under: Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Miscellaneous Tagged With: LGBTQ Widowed, bryan martin, widowed loneliness, widowhood and guilt, expressions of grief, time, Regrets

A Wolf in Family Clothing

August 18, 2018 by Bryan Martin Leave a Comment

Over the river and through the woods, Tin’s Aunt had come down to see him before he passed and to help his mother handle a mother’s worst nightmare losing a child. She watched him grow, watched him thrive and now held him as he faded away. I can’t imagine and it seems unholy although if Jesus’ mother had to go through it than who am I to…

Filed Under: Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Miscellaneous Tagged With: guilt, LGBTQ Widowed, family, bryan martin, widowhood and guilt, widowhood and anger, Money, LGBQT Widowed, anger, widow money

It’s Not Guilt, It’s Sadness

August 10, 2018 by Kelley Lynn Leave a Comment

So it’s been 7 years since my beautiful husband left for work one morning, and never came home. Seven years since his shocking and sudden death. Seven years of living this life in the “after” of painful and life-changing loss. It’s a long time, and it isn’t. It’s forever, and it’s also ten seconds. In all of this time living with the death of my…

Filed Under: Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: widowhood and guilt, new love, widowed happiness, widowed finding happiness again, guilt, sadness, widowed moving forward, widowhood and moving forward, moving forward, widowed sadness, new love for widowed, widowed new love, happiness, widowed guilt, kelley lynn

The Wax and the Wayne

June 30, 2018 by Bryan Martin Leave a Comment

Another week past and overall things have been even keel. However the dreaded dates pile one on top of another. July 15th is Tin’s first birthday. July 4th is Tin’s and my anniversary and today, June 29th, 2018 is the first anniversary of my father Wayne’s passing. I know this writing is not based mainly on my lost partner Tin but it has a…

Filed Under: Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Multiple Losses Tagged With: widowed sadness, multiple losses, bryan martin, widowhood and guilt, LGBQT Widowed, guilt, widowed death anniversay

Why I Smile

February 22, 2018 by Olivia Arnold Leave a Comment

I often get told, “you’re always smiling” or “you smile a lot.” It’s meant in a positive way of course but I can’t help but reflect on it. A year ago, I might have felt guilty for being told I’m smiling. I had questioned whether I was allowed to feel happy after such a loss and if I was happy, just how happy I was allowed to be. I…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: young widow, widowhood and guilt, life after loss, sad, happy, smiling

Don’t Take The Boy

November 6, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

Last Monday was just an average day. I had some running around to do and appointments to attend. A pre Vegas hair colour, a dentist appointment… that sort of thing. Nothing too crazy or anxiety inducing, and the panic I tend to experience on the daily remained at a reasonable low for the most part. I ended the day by attending a relaxing yoga…

Filed Under: Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: memories, widowhood and guilt, Legacy, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, wife, denial

are you ready for this?

July 8, 2011 by Jackie Hannam-Chandler Leave a Comment

One of the questions I’ve asked myself frequently since Jeff’s death is “Am I ready and do I want to date?” Aside from the need for physical contact, I can’t say that in the first year I was at all ready for “dating”. Last year, my second year of widowhood, I thought I was. With trepidation and large amount of humility, I took a look at online…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly Tagged With: widowhood and moving forward, widowed suddenly, widowhood and fear, widow, widowhood and guilt, dating after widowhood, jackie chandler

guilt and acceptance

June 3, 2011 by Jackie Hannam-Chandler Leave a Comment

First posted 7 months post-widowhood on personal blog I have worried since Jeff’s death that he didn’t know how much I loved him. The stupid things I did and the things I took for granted have weighed so heavily on my mind. I have felt terribly and guilty for the things that I complained about and the issues I thought were important. Since Jeff’s…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly Tagged With: widowed parenting, widowed suddenly, widow, widowhood and guilt, widowhood and anger, widowed perspective, jackie chandler, young widow

expectations

May 20, 2011 by Jackie Hannam-Chandler Leave a Comment

As humans, it seems that we all expect to have more than we do. More possessions. More time. More love. More help. I don’t know if it’s just my human-ness that makes this desire for more so prevalent…or if the fact that I am a widow makes this expectation almost obsessive.I have quite happy having few possessions, however (or at least I think I…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly Tagged With: young widow, widowed parenting, widowed suddenly, widow, widowhood and guilt, jackie chandler

normalcy

May 12, 2011 by Matt Logelin Leave a Comment

week three of my trip around the country talking about that thing I worked on for madeline it’s been a week  since i’ve seen my baby.(well a week since i’ve hugged my baby. I saw some photos that her grandma broccoli sent my way of maddy covered (and i mean covered) in temporary tattoos, and some more that the other grandparents have sent my…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly Tagged With: young widow, widowed parenting, widowed dad, widowed suddenly, widowhood and guilt, matthew logelin, widower

Ugly and Forgiveness

April 3, 2011 by Kim Hamer Leave a Comment

This is post from March 26, 2010 I’ve been going back to find myself, to ground this experience, to find a way to mark the growth, the good changes and all the challenges I have overcome. I’m been going back to find courage.  This is what the post said. ——-“He’s in our thoughts and prayers.” “We are sending a blanket of love.” Those…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness Tagged With: widowed by cancer, widowed parenting, widow, widowhood and guilt, kim hamer, widowed forgiveness, young widow

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