. . . sunflowers continue to bring joy! Do you ever feel “off” in your day…in your body…in the events that transpire between waking in the morning and lying down at day’s end? That was me today. Sitting down to get a head start on my blog post for this week, I drew a blank. […]
widowed
A Good Week?
It’s been a good week. By most objective and subjective measures, it’s been a good week. For me. And I realise it’s been a horrendous week and few days for anyone who is newly widowed, grieving, going through date landmines, dealing with death-admin. I am not a follower of Basketball, American or any other type, but god knows I have some…
Sticky Issues
When I was turning 20, (back in the last millennium, and indeed more than a decade before its end), a few people asked me, “what do you want for your 20th birthday?” I answered, “Twenty years between now and when I am 30”. I thought it was a very clever answer. And it was also an honest answer, based on my worldview at the time. My…
Too Many Deaths. Really. That’s Enough Now
I have just come back from what should have been two lovely days away with my Medjool. My new love. My number two. (Not Second Best. Just Number Two. Subtle but Important difference). Some of our time away was lovely – truly relaxing, soothing, stunningly beautiful, comforting, renewing, and more. And some of it was just plain horrid. For me.
997, 998, 999, 1000
Today is Friday 3rd January 2020. 3/1/2020 Or 1/3/2020 if you’re somewhere in North America, but that looks plain wrong to me. And anyway, that would be my dad’s birthday, 1st March. Not my uncle’s birthday, 3rd January. Both healthy, sporty, fit 81-year old men. 82 now for my uncle. Today is 1000 days since Mike died. In about ten minutes,…
Farewell 2019 and Readers
I am finally saying goodbye to another year without my Husband. For me, 2018 and 2019 have been the most difficult years of my life. As I close 2019, I want to let you all know that I will be no longer writing blogs anymore. For 2020, I need to focus on my health, my child and trying to get back to who I once was. In all honesty, my health is…
Feeling Numb
I can tell you as I am sitting here in my living room writing this blog, I am feeling numb. In the past two months, they found an irregular function with my heart, my house got hit by a tornado, and thankfully only knocked down a wall in my backyard. I had to get my roof redone and as they were putting in the new roof, a bunch of water poured all…
Bah Humbug
I am trying to get festive. I really am. But little things tick me off. Like Christmas decorations. Particularly the really garish ones. And the plastic snowmen. The ones in our house are okay. Right now, that’s the sum total of an undecorated Christmas tree. And fairy lights that never actually went down after Christmas 2017. Somehow they have…
I Will Always Wonder
I know it’s not healthy to think about what could have been. But sometimes I let my mind wander and take a peek of the life we could have had if you had never had your accident. I know this can’t ever exist, but I will always wonder. I will always wonder if we would have grown old together. If we truly would have decorated our wheelchairs…
Self-Care, Help, and Letting in Comfort
I have been pondering comfort, self-care, and help – what each of them is, to me, and what makes one or other easier and/or more accessible than another. Here is where I am at. And no, I have done no Googling or other research into what each of them is. Just research in my own life and experience. They are oft-used terms in Griefland – wobbly…
Unbalanced or Balanced
Lately, I’ve been getting this urge to try to find balance in my life. What is the balance? Some people would say, it is to have a job, a family, stability, and security. All those things sound great, but life throws at us unexpected unimaginable things, and somehow someway we can still manage them. So by managing the unimaginable, does that mean…
Beauty and Darkness
Today we welcome a new Widow’s Voice Author to our Thursday posts! Mari – welcome to the blog, and thank you for sharing your heart with our readers! On March 28, 2015, I met the love of my life. We had a peculiar first date, but I got a gut feeling that I needed to give him a second chance. So I did, and falling in love with him, was magical.