Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary milestone, just days away, it was bittersweet reading this post from the beginning of my journey. I hope […]
widowhood and moving forward
Widowed Movies
Fact: I am a hopeless cinephile. I was reminded of my love of film while watching a documentary on YouTube named “Sr.” The film features the life of Robert Downey, Sr., created and filmed by his son. We visit the elder Downey’s life as a filmmaker and follow while he is being filmed in real […]
What is Grief?
One Person’s Take GRIEF I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I’m learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather there […]
What happens when widowed people gather to find hope?
COMMUNITY! Good things emerge from great need. The first of its kind, Camp Widow is an example of a good thing born out of great need when a 36-year-old suddenly-widowed woman found herself in need of widowed support at a time when there was none to be found. With a mind for ideas, and a […]
(Leaving You) On The Hook
Do you ever have such a busy week that you forget what day it is? This is me. This week. Forgetting what day it is (Blog Day) and scrambling to say something meaningful about a concept that is a treasure in my life and one of my highest values: Community But guess what!?!? […]
A Community of Widowed People
Powerful Medicine for Broken Hearts [COMMUNITY: Part 5] “What are you seeking?” they asked. “I just want to find normal again,” they answered. To survive the loss of the person with whom we thought, hoped, and planned to grow old with is the challenge of widowed people. Whether we were partnered […]
What is Intentional Community?
Traveling the Path Together [COMMUNITY: Part 3] I experienced intentional community for the first time in 1979. It changed my life. “Some come to talk, others come to listen,” the leader said. “Most do a bit of both. Engage here in whatever way feels comfortable for you. We’re glad you’re here.” […]
Common Feelings and Attitudes
Along the Path of Grief [COMMUNITY: Part 2] The role of feelings in grief is huge. Feelings impact us when they are present, absent, strong, subtle, frozen, overwhelming, invisible, or constantly changing. The famous writer, C.S.Lewis, describes the changing nature of feelings through his own experience. “No one ever told me that grief […]
Considering the Impossible
and Finding Possibility [COMMUNITY: Part 1] You Don’t Move On But you must move ‘with’ you must shake hands with Grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her […]
Anatomy of a Four Letter Word
. . . FEAR I rather envy those who don’t seem to have a lot of fears. Even if it is “not noticing” or “tuning it out” it is a skill that might be helpful at times for someone like me. I notice everything and kind of suck at tuning things out. As a young […]
Marking Time
Through Numbers This is my 85th blog post as a widow. By 71 years + 230 days, time marked 32 years since Dan’s first heart attack at age 39. When he died, we had been married for 18,913 days (50 years + 9 months) when no one thought these two crazy kids would make it […]
When Things Go Wrong
in Grief and Life I love this image. One folder looks like tax receipts; another could be love letters. Bookends of life. When things go wrong in grief it forms a layer on top of the grief itself. We are carrying one thing and then, suddenly, there is another layer on top (and often another […]