Just an ordinary widowed day. Get up, brush my teeth, look at the dishes and laundry I didn’t have time to do, *sigh*, take the dog out – Pretty standard these days. Roan and I start our walk grabbing a bag because we pick up after ourselves. Well actually I clean up after us. Just me. No one to help. *sigh*. We walk the same way every morning…
young widow
Skeletons in the Closet
Well it’s almost 2 years now and I finally gave in. I haven’t really gone through our closet since Tin passed away. Each time I’d go in the closet I would feel like there were skeletons about to grab me. I’d choke up seeing a jacket he wore, a scarf he wrapped, a shirt that was there for a special event we had together. Sometimes I…
Social Media Inspiration
After awhile, our friends and family don’t get the daily loss reminders we do. I get these strong urges to post on social media and remind them but those posts have evolved into a way to try and help anyone who needs it. This week, as I sit in my car, I just started writting….. It’s been almost 2 years since Clayton passed away. Sometimes it…
So Far Away
Lately, Mike feels so far away. It is very hard to properly describe, but I will give it a try. He has taken on the feel of a memory. Now, Mike feels like more of a memory than my person. I feel lousy admitting this. It sort of feels like he is dying all over again. In my head, Mike feels like someone who lived once upon a time – in…
Divine Dimes
I have been more open-minded and openhearted to try and see signs from Tin. Some say that it is just circumstance but it helps me. It is really interesting how we have preset thoughts about certain things and “superstitions”. For my whole life I always heard that if you find a penny than it is a penny from Heaven -A small shiny token to tell…
Long lost Pineapple Shorts
I’m laying in bed and I’m only 4 days away from heading to Hawaii. I post on Facebook about the trip. In the post I ask who am I going to see there? Within moments of me posting, I hear something slide and fall in the bedroom closet. Roan (my dog) gets off the bed and goes to the closet, looks at me, walks in and out and walks over to me. He…
Already A New Year without You
I’m halfway through this winter warfare others call “the most wonderful time of the year”. The annual arrival of the four holiday horsemen. Just as one battle ends another commences giving us barely enough time to heal the wounds and gather back the troops. Thanksgiving with grief in the gravy. Christmas’ hallmark heartaches. Now the…
The Ghosts of Christmas Past , Present and Future
Thanksgiving was a beast in itself but Christmas can be the kraken in unicorn’s clothing. I love parts of Christmas like the lights, smell of Christmas trees and giving others gifts. It’s the other parts – families gathering, couples under the mistletoe, Hallmark everything that always ends up like a fairytale…Tin was 1000% in with Christmas.
I Choose to Believe
A week ago I was given an opportunity at a big event to share with my essential oil community about inclusion, community and growth. It amazes me what has come into my life in the past year. Part of my oil journey is the loss of Tin. I share about him in every speech I give. I share about Soaring Spirits and I share about the widowed Facebook…
Thanks-Grieving
Last year I could barely walk through the grocery store during the holidays. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite and the thought of even buying ingredients was too much. This year, I told myself that it wasn’t right to stop celebrating. Tin wouldn’t want that at all. So I took a deep breath, swallowed what felt like a rock in my throat and…
Another Trip Around the Widowed Sun
This was my second birthday since Tin passed. Last year I was the big 4-0 and I wasn’t ever expecting to be a widow at that age. One year later and another candle on the cake doesn’t add nearly enough light to illuminate this shadowy part of the year.“Be gentle to yourself.” Is a phrase I hear often enough and I try to repeat it on the days…
Second Season of Spirits
Holidays are hard for me now since Tin and my father are gone. They passed away 10 months apart and it is very clear that so much has gone on that I can’t process some situations better than I thought I would. Round 2 of the holidays coming and I’m worse than last year. I guess it makes sense. That whole first year is a blur trying to manage…