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Divine Dimes

Posted on: January 18, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

I have been more open-minded and openhearted to try and see signs from Tin. Some say that it is just circumstance but it helps me. It is really interesting how we have preset thoughts about certain things and “superstitions”. For my whole life I always heard that if you find a penny than it is a penny from Heaven -A small shiny token to tell you that there are others watching out for you.

My Grandfather was big on this and loved to find and collect pennies. When my Grandfather passed away, five pennies were placed on his grave to represent each of his children. Nowadays, if we find pennies than it’s Grandpa saying hello.

This week I found a dime. Not unheard of but not as common. Perhaps people lose pennies easier because of their lesser monetary value. Who really knows? All I know is that there I found a dime. I had been struggling in my mind about a business issue I had and I just couldn’t figure out what to do next. I looked down and there was the dime. Automatically I thought “Thanks Grandpa. This is you telling me you are here times 10! I felt better. I felt less alone. I felt like I could relax and stop worrying as much about my business decision. I took a deep breath and took a photo because I felt gratitude for my mind shift.

I posted the photo on social media in hopes I would bring positivity to others. People commented about pennies, feeling a sense their loved ones were around and other signs they get. I felt good sharing about the dime. Near the end of the day I had a friend leave a surprise comment ….”Ten = Tin”. I started to tear up. I was so focused on pennies from Grandpa that I almost missed a message from Tin. Had I not posted, I would not have realized that perspective. Life moments don’t have voicemail and texts for you to rewind and look back on. Give yourself time to see your world and the messages you are being gifted…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Signs from Loved One, LGBTQ+ Widowed

About Bryan Martin

In 2016 my life all started to fall into place. A new job as a Supervisor for animals at a small aquarium along the beautiful Florida gulf coast. It was a dream for Clayton and I to move to the beach, get settled and get married. In June of 2017 my father passed away after a long battle with opiods and alcohol. Four months later, Clayton was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with acute liver failure. Not having been able to truly mourn my father, I was faced with knowing that Clayton (Tin as my family calls him) would also be leaving me. I had dreams of marriage, vacations and a long life together. I watched all of those dreams fade away more and more each day as I cared for him until his final days. He passed away April 16, 2018 the day after my sister’s birthday.

Now I am through the fog of the first year and reality is setting in this second time around the sun. I’m very much alone in this sleepy beach town. I’m trying to just maintain balance with my new normal. I get depressed, angry, sad, jealous, confused and disoriented. Some days are better than others and I remind myself that it is normal. So many people think my life is back to normal and fulfilling because I work with dolphins and penguins but the magic left everything when Tin passed away. I have trouble feeling passion about most things that used to light my fire. I have feelings that oppose one another and it is exhausting. I want to feel happy for others but want to know why I can’t have what they have.

Along my journey, I have had tough days and some wonderful days but at the end of each day I still don't have the answer to my one question....Why?

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