Arrives as Gift It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than a pack of small dogs sounding an alarm at close range. Were they being corralled? Or ostracized from being cozy […]
healing for widowed
the seed of me
what shape waits . . . the shape of what was what is what will be transformation. how am I different? or the same? in the seed of you . . . the seed of me of sorrow of grief of survival of resilience of gratitude i am the seed of yesterdays i am the […]
Things They’ve Missed
Or Have They? There are plenty of things about widowhood that are “stage” reliant. How many days, weeks, or months its been since our person died. How many years since they left us. But the category of “things they missed” seems to come round no matter the specifics of time. It’s a category that never […]
A Wandering Poem Came to Me
To Teach Me of Myself The Universe is immense; yet, we are able to find ourselves if we pay attention. The Universe is a map for beginnings and endings; for what-if’s and what-about’s; for mystery. The Universe is filled with discarded satellites, remnants of rockets, memories of meteorites, and wandering poems to […]
Steps Toward Healing
Step-by-Step we grow through grief Merriam-Webster defines “step” as STEP n. 1 – an action planned or taken to achieve a desired result 2 – an individual part of a process… STEP-BY-STEP adj. 1 – proceeding or changing by steps or degrees On April 9, 2023 (6 days prior to the […]
An Invitation: Be Water
Be water. Flowing, flexible and soft. a still pond invites insect landings; water responds with ripples (My responses to life can be gentle or fierce) Subtly powerful power lurks—ALIVE—just beneath the surface (Am I in tune with the power within me?) still waters contrast with powerful flash floods wreaking destruction […]
Self Compassion
Revisited The poetry in italics are quotes from a blog post entitled Self Compassion written by my earlier widowed self. This post is a clarification and love note to my current widowed self. When words don’t come easily I write in poetry. In May of 2023, I was trying to capture Self Compassion because […]
Introverts: Stay in the Work
I get overwhelmed easily with “too many” of anything. Too many choices, too many words at first glance, too many ways to find my way to peace and healing. I have to back away. Take a beat. If I understood myself as an introvert earlier in my life, it is likely I could have avoided […]
A Widowed Introvert: Part Four
How does resilience help widowed people heal? The Soaring Spirits Resilience Center research team asked widowed people to help us define resilience as it applies to the widowed experience and the results are inspiring. –Soaring Spirits Website The time I first heard about the Soaring Spirits Resilience Center in the Texas Hill Country, I wanted […]
A Widowed Introvert: Part Three
RESILIENCE Resilience is the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Being resilient does not mean a person doesn’t experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Resilience involves the ability to work through emotional pain and suffering. — Katie Hurley, LCSW The quote reminds me of the Japanese proverb that says Fall […]
A Widowed Introvert: Part Two
What Grief Adds to the Mix In talking with other introverts, many report that grief adds one more layer to navigate in the world. One more layer in addition to the fact that grief is overwhelming in and of itself. The introvert’s experience of grief is different…for me, it was almost an out-of-body experience. I […]
A Widowed Introvert: Part One
How are things different for me? We are unique widowed beings. Our widowhood contains every experience that formed us throughout our lifetime. We are widowed young, old, and in-between. It is fair to say that the unique markers that we embody is what makes our widowed experience ours alone. And (thankfully) there are uncountable ways […]